My favorite songs (A.K.A. The soundtrack of my life)

At work, we were recently asked to list our favorite songs. I have several favorites, each with unique reasons for being my favorite. Each has something that resonates in me either musically or lyrically. Below are a few with explanations of why I love these songs.

#5. You’ve Got a Friend – Carol King (http://youtu.be/Ko_vnGuVMHA)

When you're down and troubled
And you need some loving care
And nothing, nothing is going right
Close your eyes and think of me
And soon I will be there
To brighten up even your darkest night

The reason I love this song is that it speaks of geniune friendship. The kind of friendship that we all long to have and the kind of friendship we should all strive to show to others.  Plus, Carol King is a genius; undeniably one of the best songwriters of all time.

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#4 Till Summer Comes Around – Keith Urban (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kh0ESB30eJA)

Another long summer's come and gone
I don't know why it always ends this way
The boardwalk's quiet and the carnival rides
Are as empty as my broken heart tonight

Keith is the best thing to come out of Australia in many years. His lyrics are atypical of most county songs and his musicianship is unmatched. Till Summer Comes Around features a haunting guitar lick that automatically takes you to that empty beach where you met your first love. Who hasn't has a summer love and waited in the hope for those days to return?  It's hopeful and sad at the same time.

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#3 I Still Haven’t Found What I’m Looking For - U2 (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GSv-lKwOQvE)

I have climbed highest mountain
I have run through the fields
Only to be with you
Only to be with you


I have run
I have crawled
I have scaled these city walls
These city walls
Only to be with you

But I still haven't found what I'm looking for
But I still haven't found what I'm looking for

This song has been covered my gospel groups ever since it was released in 1987.  I loved the honesty, the searching for something bigger than yourself. And you have to be crazy not to love U2.

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#2 Listen - Beyonce (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w1rLZfAfQLM)

Listen, I am alone at a crossroads
I'm not at home in my own home
And I've tried and tried to say what's on mind
You should have known

Oh, now I'm done believing you
You don't know what I'm feeling
I'm more than what you made of me
I followed the voice you gave to me
But now I've gotta find my own

We've all found ourselves in a place that isn't right for us. That relationship, that job, that city, that just doesn't work for us anymore. We've become what someone else has dreamt for us. The problem with other people's dreams is that they can turn out to be our own nightmares. Self-preservation and this song allowed me make a major in my life when the opportunity presented itself.

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#1 - No More Drama – Mary J. Blige (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=em328ua_Lo8)

It feel so good when you let go
Avoid this drama in your life
Now you're free from all the pain
Free from all the game, free from all the stress
So find your happiness

I don't know, only God knows where the story ends
For me, but I know where the story begins
It's up to us to choose whether we win or loose
And I choose to win

This is my all time favorite song. It came out in 2001 when there was so much turmoil in the world and in my life. It summed up how I felt and what I wanted...what I still want.  Mary J Blige acknowledged the pain and declared that it needed to end and that it would start inside of her. I remember reading that it became the "divorce" song; the song that empowered women to leave abusive relationships.

In explaining what "No More Drama" means for her, Mary J. Blige said, “When I say ‘no more drama,’ I’m saying no more to things like being my own worst enemy, no more hurting myself, just no more of that mess. Life is full of drama, but the bottom line is, you’ve got to make the choice whether you’re going to be happy or not. Even when you make the choice to be happy, there’s still going to be drama – but at least you won’t be inflicting the drama on yourself.”


from http://rnbdirt.com/mary-j-blige-describes-no-more-drama/1892/

In retrospect...

I've been taking a leadership development course for three months. I'm not new to leadership training. In fact, I was the student leadership club co-advisor a few years ago. So many of the theories aren't necessarily new to me.

However I am finding that my experiences in my work life and my personal life have given me a perspective that I have not had before. I am taking these lessons that I'm learning and putting them into real life action; difficulties and all. I mean, it's easy to be a leader when everyone does what you tell them to do. There's no work involved. But in the past few years, my leadership skills have been put to the test. Some people don't automatically trust me or my judgement because I haven't earned that trust through progressive interactions that would foster that trust. Sometimes there exists communication breakdowns that serve to put up barriers to trusting relationships. And sometimes, it could be external baggage that gets in the way.

In any case, I'm used to people trusting me. I am a person who walks in integrity. It is not often that I say one one thing and do something else. When it happens, it is more often than not a result of outside influences getting the way of me fulfilling my promises.

We were asked today to talk about what we have gained from the course. Two things have emerged for me. Being more purposeful and less judgemental in my interactions. And by judgemental, I don't necessarily mean, "I'm right and you're wrong". We learned about perceiving the phenomenon versus our story about the phenomenon today and it was eye opening for me.  We also talked about ethics, integrity, communication, personal values, work styles and other things that make each one of us the person we are.  These things shape who we are and how we perceive the world.  They can make use better communicators or the person who drains another person's soul.

We learned today that there is no text book approach to dealing with other people especially when we are coming from a position of leadership. Each situation requires a specific leadership style to guarantee a successful outcome.  Can each of us become what is needed to fill space, the missing piece that will move the group along? The answer doesn't really involve having a particular skill set. It involves more of our willingness to serve and to model the behaviors that successful leaders have been modeling for us. 

I said there were two things and I think I mentioned two things already. But there is a third aspect that I think each of us has felt and appreciated. There is comfort in being in a cohort group for an extended period of time with people who are outside your normal sphere of influence.  My cohort group consists of people from a variety of areas of the organization and though we bring a variety of experiences, we seem to find that our experiences, although different in setting, are similar in content. And as we're learning new nuggets of information, we seem to be collectively putting together the pieces to create what I hope becomes a mosiac for what a good leader looks like.

It's been great to be with this group. I previously worked with four of the people in my group and one other person I just recently started interacting with through committee work. But for the most part I didn't know anyone else beyond their name and where they work. After three months, we seem closer, more connected to each other and invested in each other's successes.