Lost

Lost Rhapsody 2: Electric Boogaloo

TGISP

I'm glad it's spring break. I'm mean, it's no fun being sick during spring break, but mentally, I needed this time away. I feel like I've been carrying the weight of the world on my shoulders for a while now. I've been unable to express myself, my feelings fully.

For a while, I've felt like I've not been present in my relationships...not fully present. I've spread myself so thin. So this time away, this time alone is good for me. It gives me time to regroup. Time to re-evaluate.

Spring Break is Here

I don't know why I got this, but I haven't seen it in 20 years and I really did love this show.

Hollywood Arms

I wish I could see this again.

Star Trek Voyager

I recently discovered that I can order TV series DVDs from Blockbuster online. I decided to start with a favorite show of mine, Star Trek Voyager. I've finished season one and am on disc four of season two.


I'm hoping to finish watching all seven season by the end of the summer. It would be really nice if I could buy the whole set from Amazon.

Spring Break

It's spring break time. This week, I'm off from work. I don't have any plans to go away, but I do have plenty to do.

Monday - Memorial of Jesus' Death

After sundown on Monday, my congregation will commemorate Jesus's death and how his ransom benefits us all.
http://www.watchtower.org/e/19980315/article_01.htm

The rest of the week, I hope to get my apt in order. I've also checked out some DVDs from the library. They should keep me occupied. I've been exhausted for weeks, so I'm hoping that this week offers the rest that I need.

Graduation

For some reason, I've been asked how many classes I have left before graduation at least three to four times a day every day this week. To settle the issue, here are the proposed classes I need for the rest of my UMUC days:

18 CREDITS LEFT

CIVIC RESPONSIBILITY
IFSM 304 Ethics in the Information Age

ELECTIVES
CMIT 368 Windows Server 2003
IFSM 438 Project Management
CMIT 265 Networking Essentials

MAJOR REQUIREMENTS
IFSM 310 Software & Hardware Concepts

SOCIAL SCIENCE
GVPT 170 American Government

A couple of things

Ok, let's start with LOST... I'm curious about the revelation about Claire and Jack having the same father. This has been rumored on the LOST message boards for over a year. I wonder if this was planned long ago or if it was a fan-influenced decision. Also, how cool is it that Jin is starting to use his english. Lastly, what is up with John Locke? He's just one mistake after another. Does he need Jack to help keep him balanced? Ever since Jack was taken, Locke has made one mistake after another. We might have to acts of stupidity as "Lockes".

********************
The second thing. I'm woefully behind in my Cold Fusion class. But tonight, I started my quest to get caught up. I still have a lot to do, but with Spring Break next week, hopefully I can get caught up. I'm doing a box office website and I really need to get my design started.

********************

I still have a poem stuck in my head. I can't get it together. I keep getting parts of it, but not enough to put down on paper. The theme is longing in all its forms. I'll keep you posted.

********************

I'm going to bed now. Night y'all :)

Watching TV with Janet

Wouldn't it be cool to sit on your couch and watch TV with a celebrity and it not be a big deal?

Last night I dreamt that Janet Jackson was at my house watching TV in my living room. We talked about all kinds of things, but it wasn't like she was a big celebrity. We talked about our families and the importance of reading the bible daily.

You Tube

You can find just about any thing you want on You Tube... most of it is the dumbest video you'll ever see. But sometimes you find something special that you would probably never see.

Broadway on Broadway

No carved images...

Here's the thing... I was driving along, minding my own business this morning when I drove by a restaurant with a golden cow on the roof...

A golden cow...
A golden calf...

Didn't we learn anything from the Israelites?

My poor baby

I went down to College Park today to find my classroom for a class I'm taking next week. After leaving, I was driving home and my mother, who was behind noticed that my license plate was gone. Some maniac down at College Park stole my license plate. The worse part is that since I reported it, I can't drive my car until I get new tags.

My baby was violated :(

YMC

I went to see Yo Mama's Cookin' tonight and it was the hardest I've laughed in a long time. Improv Rocks!

Notebook woes

Those of you who know me will understand what I'm about to say. It's week five of classes and I still don't have a notebook for either of my classes. I'm not sure why I haven't done it yet. I took the time to find two binders, cleaned them out, found dividers, really made an effort to get started on the right foot.

I looked at my desk today and realized that I have gone far beyond procrastination. It not that I don't have the I don't have time to set up the notebook. I just haven't had it in me to do it. You would think that 12 years of secondary education would've stuck with me. Rule #1, have a notebook, organize your homework.

Instead my desk is chaos and I'm always doing homework at the last minute.

Here's the really hilarious part of all this... I just got contact information for the student that I'm going to coach. Thankfully, she'll never see my desk. Hopefully, she doesn't need help setting up a notebook or else she might flunk out of school.

And the Oscar goes to...

From http://www.indiana.edu/~bfca/features/oscars.html

Feature Presentation:
African American Oscar Winners
The Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences Awards, considered the most prestigious annual award ceremony for film in the United States, has a long and distinguished history of recognizing outstanding achievement in film. Unfortunately, their recognition of African American actors, actresses, and filmmakers has been few and far between.

The first African American to win an Academy Award was Hattie McDaniel for her performance as "Mammy" in Gone With the Wind (1939). Despite this breakthrough fairly early in the history of the Academy Awards, it would be another twenty-four years before another African American was once again honored (with the exception of the Honorary Award given to James Baskett in 1948 for his performance as "Uncle Remus" in Disney's Song of the South). When Sidney Poitier (who was born in Miami and later moved to the U.S. at the age of 15, but is Bahamian and thus also considered a Caribbean black) won a Best Actor Oscar for his performance in Lilies of the Field (1963) in the midst of the Civil Rights Movement in 1964, many hoped that the playing field was finally becoming more level. Unfortunately, it would be nineteen more years before another black actor won an Academy Award.

Several black actors and one black actress won Oscars for supporting roles in the 1980s and 1990s, however none won for a leading role again until the 2002 Academy Awards. In that year, African Americans actually won both of the top acting awards. Halle Berry became the first African American woman to win the Best Actress award for her performance in Monster's Ball (2001), and after being nominated twice before for a leading role, Malcolm X (1992) and The Hurricane (1999), Denzel Washington finally won for his portrayal of a dirty cop in Training Day (2001).

The 2002 Academy Awards also featured an Honorary Lifetime Achievement Award given to Sidney Poitier. With three Oscars awarded to black actors, some declared that discrimination in the movie industry was a thing of the past and that African Americans had finally made it, while others maintained that progress was being made but there were still too many obstacles for people of color to overcome.

Is Hollywood still conducting business in black and white, or is green the predominant color of the Film Industry? In other words, does the image of African Americans that Hollywood most frequently presents reflect what makes the most money with national and international audiences? If so, what can be done to combat this problem in order to secure more worthwhile roles for black actors and actresses and projects for black filmmakers?

We encourage you to make up your own mind by taking a look at the articles, books, websites, and films listed at the bottom of this web page.

Black Academy Award Winners:
1. Hattie McDaniel, Best Actress in a Supporting Role for Gone With the Wind (1939).
2. James Baskett, Honorary Award "for his able and heart-warming characterization of Uncle Remus, friend and story teller to the children of the world in Walt Disney's Song of the South" (1946). [awarded at the 1948 Academy Awards Ceremony]
3. Sidney Poitier, Best Actor in a Leading Role for Lilies of the Field (1963).
4. Isaac Hayes, Best Music, Original Song for "Theme from Shaft" from Shaft (1971).
5. Louis Gossett, Jr., Best Actor in a Supporting Role for An Officer and a Gentleman (1982).
6. Irene Cara, Best Music, Original Song for "Flashdance...What a Feeling" from Flashdance (1983).
7. Prince, Best Music, Original Song Score for Purple Rain (1984).
8. Stevie Wonder, Best Music, Original Song for "I Just Called to Say I Loved You" from The Woman in Red (1984).
9. Lionel Richie, Best Music, Original Song for "Say You, Say Me" from White Nights (1985).
10. Herbie Hancock, Best Music, Original Score for 'Round Midnight (1986).
11. Denzel Washington, Best Actor in a Supporting Role for Glory (1989).
12. Whoopi Goldberg, Best Actress in a Supporting Role for Ghost (1990).
13. Cuba Gooding, Jr., Best Actor in a Supporting Role for Jerry Maguire (1996).
14. Halle Berry, Best Actress in a Leading Role for Monster's Ball (2001).
15. Denzel Washington, Best Actor in a Leading Role for Training Day (2001).
16. Sidney Poitier, Honorary Lifetime Achievement Award "for his extraordinary performances and unique presence on the screen and for representing the industry with dignity, style and intelligence." [awarded at the 2002 Academy Awards Ceremony]
17. Jamie Foxx, Best Actor in a Leading Role for Ray (2004).
18. Morgan Freeman, Best Actor in a Supporting Role for Million Dollar Baby (2004)
19. Jordan Houston, Cedric Coleman, and Paul Beauregard [aka Three 6 Mafia], Best Music, Original Song for "It's Hard Out Here for a Pimp" from Hustle & Flow (2005).
20. Jennifer Hudson, Best Actress in a Supporting Role for Dreamgirls
21. Forestt Whitiker, Best Actor in a Lead Role for the Last King of Scotland.

The Grammys - Dixie Chicks

Who would've thought that 4 years after the now infamous statement, Natalie Maines and the Dixie Chicks would walk off with grammys for Record of the year, Song of the year, Best Country Performance By A Duo Or Group With Vocal, Best Country Album, and Album of the Year. I guess all the people who said they couldn't come back and be as strong as they were before were wrong.

It's ironic that they won for best country album of the year when you stop to think about the fact that country radio has all but abandoned the Dixie Chicks. Country radio, although very 'American' and family oriented, has this annoying thing about it. They believe in free speech as long as you say something they agree with. Country radio didn't like it when Natalie Maines spoke out against the president, like most non-celeb americans. They destroyed DC cds in the streets, enacted full fledged boycotts of their musics and concerts. DC became personae non-gratae.

The chix weren't detered... they couldn't be held back. They went on tour to sold out crowds, they went on with their lives and came back to record probably one of the best albums of their careers. Emily Robson described it as "recording without a genre" and I really think that it was the most creative they've ever been because they weren't in a box. They could record the music they wanted to play and they were able to touch their listeners in a very special place in the process.

Four years ago after Natalie Maines made her now imfamous statement about our president, I wore a necklace to school that said "Dixie Chicks Rule". I remember walking by the Vice President of my area and he said to me, "Are you trying to get beat up?". I didn't understand why said that until I found out our administration (the college's that is) is headed up by a republican who appreciates republican values and republican dollars. So any talk or dissension against our country's president was probably not appreciated. But I wasn't saying anything about the political situation at the time. I was showing my love for the Dixie Chicks.

For me, it's always been about the music, never the politics. At the end of the day, Natalie, Emily, and Marti are artists and the world is better for having them in it.

Lonnnng week

I just finished up one of the most stressful weeks I've had in a long time. I've been working on a project for about a month now and (as with anything) effective planning would've helped things go a lot smoother.

I was very confident about my .asp skills before I started this project and I really had a game plan in mind. I probably should have have stuck with that or at least written my plan out so that all the obstacles could have been addressed in the beginning.

Last night, I started to do some work and I guess I was so tired from being up every night during the week. As I started to work, my chest started hurting in a way that can only be described as the kind of pain where you actually think about calling 911. My heart felt like it was going to explode in my chest. I think my body was telling me not do to any work and to just relax. So I got in the bed and read for a bit. Even though I got more sleep, I was still exhausted this morning.

So, I went to work, negotiated a day off for Monday and finished up a big portion of my project. There's still a lot to do this weekend. But I think I'll get through it.

Sleep Debt

It's amazing what a lack of sleep can do for the brain. They say that drving while you're sleepy is just as bad as driving while under the influence of alcohol or drugs.

Well, I've had better sense than to drive a lot the past couple of days. But i hveing doing a bunch of programming...It hasn't been going well at all.

I wish I could tell you more, but I'm too tired...

The Caveman

He's a bit surly and very depressed... but I think I love the caveman...

http://www.cavemanscrib.com

reflections

I had an interesting day today...

I slept well and got started on my day bright and early. But by 8:45, a sadness fell over me. It was overwhelming and a bit annoying. To make matters worse, I was told that I have become fixated on a bad situation.

But 11:00 I figured out what was wrong, outside of having a nearly impossible workload and a toxic working environment. My mood was chemical and I just needed to ride it out. I probably should've just gotten some chocolate.

Here's the deal. I some times lose focus of what's important. I also forget to just ask for help. I try to fix things that are beyond my grasp of control. Right now, for instance, I have projects that I think I can do, that is if I had more time. But I don't have time.

But here's the thing...

None of this matters this weekend. I can't spend this weekend worried about work. I really shouldn't worry about work beyond the end of the work day. I need to learn how to do that.

Cold Fusion

I need to learn Cold Fusion very quickly... like, over this weekend. I have a project to do and no clue how to do it. Now, don't laugh, but I bought Cold Fusion for Dummies and downloaded a tutorial from the Adobe site.

I'm hopeful today...

Check back with me in a few days to see if I still feel this way.

First Snowfall

Today we got our first snow fall and it was beautiful. It wasn't alot, but it was just enough to give my neighborhood that winter wonderland look.

I love the look of snow, the smell of snow, the feel of snow. It's like home.

My Chucks

If you go to www.converse.com, you can design your own chucks.

Here is my design:

HCC Purple

Howard Community College
has gotten into the purple spirit.

Go Ravens!!!

Stuck in my head

I have an idea for a poem stuck in my head... I can't quite pull it together and organize my thoughts. Each day it nags at my soul, desperate to escape the inner most parts of my head.

Sunday Brunch

I hosted a gathering at my apt today... it was a brunch and although it was a lot of work preparing for it, I'm glad I did it. Having the friends over to see the new DVD, Organized to Share the Good News, was really a treat. To see all the work being done by Jehovah's Witnesses really helped me see just how united we are as a people.

This whole day made me think about how I can improve my service to Jehovah. Since I have three months off from school, I can use this time to improve my study habits and field ministry. I really want to do better because as 1 JOHN 5:3 says, " For this is what the love of God means, that we observe his commandments; and yet his commandments are not burdensome,. . ." So doing better is something I can do and should do.

So here's the plan:

I'm going to make some spiritual goals as far as studying for the meetings and for getting out in the ministry. I know I can achieve them, if I just make them a priority.

Weird Dream

I had the weirdest dream last night.

I was at HCC and for the final performance of You're a Good Man, Charlie Brown, Sue, the Director, decided to let a few of the HCC employees join the cast for a couple of songs, sort of like background extras.

We started getting ready for our performance and something catastrophic happened. Within the span of about 5 minutes, we saw 4 planes crash within meters of the Black Box Theatre. It was an eery, apocalyptic feeling because no policeman or fire fighters came... we sat and watched as these planes just burst into flames or in some cases, crashed and skid down the street.

I remember thinking, there's no way to recover from this or even move on. But Sue rallied us together and we resumed preparing for the show. I think that she thought that doing the show would help start the healing process. It was hard because of what we had just seen, but we pulled it together. My sister Tiffany was there with me, so she got to be in the show with me.

Later that day, we went to find our family and we did, but the air in the city was different. We could tell that these events had affected people deeply. It was just as frightening as 9/11. It was a terrible feeling, knowing that so many people just lost their lives for no good reason. The whole world was in fear that this might happen again.

I remember thinking that this was a dream... I tried to wake up and I think that in my dream I woke up to see a swarm of gnats in my bedroom... Then I really woke up and the specter of what I had just dreamt about filled my head. What would I do if this really happened?

I still don't know.

Coding my brains out.

This is my entry for the night...

I'm so tired. I've been working on a project for about three weeks and it's finally coming to an end. It's odd because I've been working on this forever. I don't mean that in the sense of, "man, I've been working on this forever... I'll be glad when it's over". I mean it more like, "this is really pushing my higher brain functions. I feel like I'm really using my critical thinking skills."

It makes me want to learn more and use these skills more... almost. There's a danger in using new skills...if you use them, people will want you to use them again. You become a "go-to" person, which can have it's benefits. But most of the time, they don't.

I guess it's a good thing that I took some time off from school : )

Superman Returns

Again, the question is...why doesn't anyone realize that Clark Kent and Superman are the same person?

And...

Why does Metropolis look a whole lot like Manhattan?

100 Questions

1) Are you in a complicated relationship?not really
2) Do you hate more than 3 people?I dislike the actions of more than 3 people. I try not to hate people.
4) How many houses have you lived in?
6, I think
5) Favorite candy bar?Take 6
6) Have you ever tripped someone?Yes
7) Least favorite school subject?Chemistry
8) How many pairs of shoes do you own?
About 10-15
9) Who do you like?In a platonic sense... all my friends
In a romantic sense.... wouldn't you like to know :(-
10) Have you ever thrown up in public?Unfortunately, yes... in Boston... in a mall
11) Name one thing that is always on your mind:Since I'm a woman, I always have at least two things on my mind
12) Favorite genre of music?It depends on my mood. I favor Pop/Rock and Country.
13) Whats your zodiac sign?I don't subscribe to the zodiac
14) What time were you born?4:10 pm
15) Do you like beer?Corona with a lime
16) Have you made a prank phone call?Yes.. I worked at Musicland in Columbia Mall in Maryland. I called the Musicland in Columbia Mall in Columbia South Carolina to cranked them. The manager was from a neighboring town and knew where to find me.
17) What is the most embarrassing CD you own? Joey Lawrence's First CD... It's still unopened.
18) Are you sarcastic?oh yeah, definitely?
19) wHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE COLOR?sage green
20) How many watches do you own?2, one that works and one that does not.
21) Summer or winter?winter
22) Is anyone in love with you?If they are, they haven't told me.
23) Favorite color to wear?sage green
24) Pepsi or Sprite?Sprite
26) Where is your second home?Mom's house
27) Have you ever slapped someone?I don't remember
29) How many lights are in your bedroom? 1
30) How many video games do you own?I have an Atari FLashback 2.0... so how ever many games came with that.
31.) First pet you owned?Cat
32) Ever had braces?No
33) Do looks matter?They shouldn't... but they do... at least in the beginning.
34) Do you use chapstick?Sure
35) Name 3 teachers from middle school:Ms. Wright, ..... I've blocked out those years... the only reason I remember Mrs. Wright is because she was my 11th grade gym teacher too...
36) American Eagle or Abercrombie?Never shopped at either
37) Are you too forgiving?Not sure, I don't think so.
38) How many children do you want?Depends on the day you ask me... most day, I don't want any.
39) Do you own something from Hot Topic?Not any more...
40) Favorite breakfast meal?depends on the day...
41) Do you own a gun?Hell no
43) When was the last time you cried?Today... stupid Clean House show
44) What did you do last night?Watched TV
45) Olive Garden?I think I've only been there once...was that were we ate Carrie?
46) Have you ever called your teacher mommy?Yes.. .and her name was Michelle. It was kindergarten
47) Have you ever been in a castle? I don't think so
48) Nicknames?JJ, Jules Verne, Black Girl, Pookie, JulieGirl
50) Ever been to Kentucky?No...
52) Are you thinking about somebody right now?Yes... Darn you Carrie for sending this to me.
53) Ever called somebody Boo?Yeah
54) do you smoke?No
55) Do you own a diamond ring?Not yet
56) are you happy with your life right now?somewhat... but there's always room for improvement.
57) Do you like your hair?Nope, I want to get it cut with side swept bangs
58) Does anyone have a crush on you?see #22
60) What were you doing in May of 1994?Working at Musicland and dating Curtis.
61) Do you own a Backstreet Boys CD?Not any more
62) Mcdonalds or Wendys?McDonalds
63) Do you love yourself?mostly
64) Are you closer to your mother or father?Mother
65) Favorite physical feature of the preferred sex?I like men's butts... not too big...not too small
66) Are you afraid of the dark?I plead the 5th amendment
67) Have you ever eaten paste? Nope
68) Do you own a webcam?no
69) Have you ever stripped?no
71) Are you religious?Yeah
72) Do you chat on AIM often?everyday...now I use it at work
73) Pringles or Lays?depends on my mood
74) Have you ever broken someones heart?Yes
75) Full house or brady bunch?Bradys
77) Did you like your middle school guidance counselor?I don't know... I don't know if I had one 78) Has anyone ever called you a tease?Yes
79) Do you have any pets?no
80) do you own a car?Yes
81) Can you cook?Yup
82) 3 things that annoy you?liars, people who can't double click, Tyra Banks
83)Do you text message alot?Yeah, mostly Marie and Carrie
84) Money or love?Love can't pay the light bill... sorry to sound heartless.
85)Do you have any scars?YUP, got two of them within a span of a year

86) What do you want more than anything right now?Someone to talk to
87) Do you enjoy scary movies?I don't.. I think that most of them come out of demonic minds
88) Relationships or one night stands?Relationships
89) Big Red or Juiicy Fruit??I can't chew gum any more
90) Do you enjoy greasy food?depends...
91) Have you seen all the Rocky movies?Uh, no
92) Do you own a box of crayons?not anymore
94) Who was the last person you said i love you to?I don't remember... I don't say it often.
95) Who was the last person that made you mad?I don't get mad often, but the last person who really really mad me mad was ... I told her off... and I still have my job.
96) Who was the last person that made you cry?I don't let people make me cry... so I can't tell you who that would've been.
97) Who was the last person that made you laugh?Tracy cracks me up all the time.
98) Who was the last person that texted you?Casey thinks she did... but I never got the msg.... the last one that actually came through was from Keia.
99) Who was the last person that called you?My Dad
100) Whats your ringtone?SexyBack
101) Who do you love?Daniel Dae Kim... Just kidding... I love my friends and family... I don't have a person that I love in a romantic sense.

Missing Mexico

Yesterday I was talking to my mother about going to Mexico. She asked me if I was going to go back to Mexico and for the first time, I said no. I didn't mean that I never want to go to Mexico because I do... I want to go there for my honeymoon, if I ever get married.

But the next time I go, I don't want to go on a study abroad trip. I would love to go to Mexico and just explore... Oddly enough, when I think about going back, I actually think about back-packing and soaking up the history and culture of the country.

I really do miss Mexico. Everytime I drink camomile tea, I think of Mexico. It almost feels like homesickness. I want to go and see my people...my family.

Best Line of the year

During a recent television appearance, former Vice President, Al Gore made the following statement:

"Justin Timberlake said that he's bringing sexy back... well, here I am !"

Value

I guess I haven't had much to say lately. Keeping up with this blog has become a bit of chore for me. I feel like I have nothing of value to say anymore. It's probably because I've been so busy and haven't had a lot of time to be alone with my own thoughts.

I just finished the fall semester. I took Text and Graphics Integration and Web Site Management. I got A's in both classes although neither class was as easy as I had I had hoped. I have to admit that even though I have a plan to finish my degree in the next year, it feels like it's going to take forever. People at work encourage me, but they don't realize that this isn't as easy as it seems. I have so many things going on in my life. I never feel like I have enough hours in the day. One of the worse things to hear is "you're young...this is the best time to finish your degree. Then you can get your Master's." What people don't realize is that I don't live at home with no bills. I have other responsibilities in my life and going to school isn't my sole obligation...if you can even call it an obligation. It's more like a burden that I've put on myself... a burden that will ultimately achieve one thing; an improved status at work.

It's sad to think that people are not valued unless they have a certain degree. I mean, people tell me how much they appreciate what I do and they have no problem asking me to do training in this or that. It's like, they have no problem tapping into my knowledge for free. However, to pay me for training or teaching, that's out of the question, even though I know more than some lead instructors. And it's not just me. There are plenty of people who are rapped of their talents and I'm surprised that more people aren't disgruntled. Maybe they are quietly disgruntled.

I'm not at the disgruntled stage because I know that I have my job because of Jehovah's love for me and not because of anyone else. I guess that's why I don't worry about losing my job like other people. I try to look at my job as just that...a job...not my life. Some people are the job and they seem miserable. When your own self value is wrapped up in your job or in something outside yourself, I don't know how you can be happy. I've seen people like that and they don't seem happy. They try to make themselves "self-important" or worse yet they wait for others to assign them their value. I hoped to never be that way.

Mariah Carey and Christmas

I think Mariah Carey is stalking me. Everytime I turn around I hear her singing "All I want for Christmas is you".

Enough already !

Too many days with my thoughts

It's funny... I watched part of Steve Martin's version of Father of the Bride tonight. Then right after it went off on one channel, the original with Spencer Tracy and Elizabeth Taylor. The two movies are so closely performed with the new version almost holding completely to the original script. They're both good movies.

This weekend I was thinking... never a good thing, mind you. I always tend to overthink things. Having more than two days to myself allows me to fall into the "what if" trap. You know that trap...it's the one that makes you doubt every decision you ever made. Then if that's not bad enough, you start thinking about how you can fix past mistakes. It's such a vicious cycle that ends up leaving you feeling like you've just wasted a huge chunk of your life...which, by the way, you have.

1st, 2nd, or 3rd person

Have you ever been talking to someone, listening to them tell a story about themselves? Depending on the type of story, the person may refer to themselves in the 1st, 2nd or 3rd person.

3rd Person
When a person refers to his/herself by their given name.
example: "When I was a child, I said, "Blanche, you can be anything you want to be"".
Why are you calling yourself by your name? Explain that to me. Your name is supposed to be used by other people.

1st Person
When a person uses the pronoun "I" in a story.
Example: "I went to the store and bought a vat of butter and a loaf of bread".
This is normal and generally accepted as the way to talk about oneself.

2nd person
When a person uses the pronoun "you" in a story, but "you" isn't someone else.
Example: When asked about her flying plane ride, Jennifer responded, "It was weird.. I mean, you sit there and you wait and wonder if everything is going to be alright. It was the most terrifying thing you can go through when you realize just how high up you really are.""

Here's the thing about using the 2nd person. Using the 2nd is a way of letting people into your life, but still keep them at a distance. It's also a way to acknowledge who you are without outwardly owing it. You often find people using the 2nd person when sharing deeply personal feelings. Using "you" allows the person to peek around the emotional wall of protection that keeps them safe from truly connecting with another person. We're all guilty of it at one time or another and I can't really decide if it's a bad thing.

TADA!!!

We finally finished it! The new Howard Community College website has arrived.




http://www.howardcc.edu/

Can't Be Stopped

artist: Janet Jackson lyrics
title: Can't Be Stopped
album: The Velvet Rope

Nothing's gonna stop us
We can't be stopped

I know that it's not been easy
Trying to make it in this crazy world
People 'round you try to stop you
Stomp you saying that you don't belong

You must remember that
We were born with blood of kings and queens
And can't be stopped
Stay stronger my sister you can't be stopped
No, you can't be stopped

I know that sometimes
You get to feelin' I've given up on you
The pressure seems to, to defeat you
Beat you when you feel you can't go on

You must remember that
You were born with blood of kings and queens
And can't be stopped
Stay stronger my brother you can't be stopped
No, you can't be stopped

Don't ever let nobody tell you you ain't strong enough
Strong enough, don't let nobody tell you you ain't
Strong enough, don't let nobody tell you

You know that I will be right here
To remind you that we need
Togetherness, 'cause lost pride
Has no room, if you don't forget
Where you come from

Election Day

Tomorrow is election day and while, I'm not at all interested in who wins or loses, I will be glad to see the end of the campaign commercials. They are so deceptive and misleading. I don't know of any other industry where in order to get a job, you have to discredit the other applicants.

Can you imagine...

Interviewer: "So why do you want to be a web designer for our company?"

Applicant: "Well, don't you think it's time for a change? Your current web designer, sides with the network engineer in restricting access to key services to the web community. And while there are people who can't afford dial up internet, your web designer keeps accepting a yearly raise. Can you take four more years of this? Hire me!"

It's completely ridiculous.

My neighbors

I can't prove it, but I think my neighbor is a twin. She looks slightly different to me every other day. I want to ask her, but I think that it would be rude.

The folks upstairs were fighting last night.
The folks downstair were making up.

I didn't get much sleep last night.

I have more to say, but am too tired to type it out.

Seasons change

It's been cold lately...really cold. I think it's time to break out the hat and scarf. In some respects, I like the winter time. Snow is great and really makes the neighborhood look quiet and peaceful.

But there are somethings that I don't like about winter. It gets darker earlier. When it gets windy, it's bitterly cold. The air feels like it's cutting into my skin.

I'm starting to talk myself out of liking the winter.

I wonder what's going to happen on our first snow day...

hmm....

Project All-day

I spent the day working on a project. Once again, I found myself obsessed with an idea and had to see it to fruition.

Here are the project instructions:

In Project 2 you are going to write at least two paragraphs using one of the rhetorical devices, Metaphor or Metonymy, to help you make your point. For example ? the world is an egg. Explain to us how the world is an egg. An example of Metonymy ? John Smith, like many other rodeo riders, has great family values. What can we generalize about rodeo riders, or working men in general?

Next, find a graphic that continues the rhetorical idea, and layout a page with the story and the graphic. Use formatting and other text attributes that we have already discussed to make it easy for us to read the information.

I'm basically done, but I want to wait to post it.

I can't breathe

Is it possible to sleep through a panic attack? I hope that it is because I'm exhausted, yet I feel like I'm still having a panic attack. It started early this morning with a very constricted feeling in my chest. Then my insides felt nervous and jittery and the phone wouldn't stop ringing. I have too much to do and not enough time to do it and as October 25 gets closer, my fears just increase. I don't know if I can finish everything by then and I really don't know what to do.

Except breathe...That's what Lucy, my physical therapist always says to me when I feel like I can't stretch my arm any farther. I feel like I can't stretch any farther than I am right at this moment.

I'm going to bed.

Reading

I want all the little children (and adults) that look to me as a role model and a pillar of society to close their eyes for the next minute or so...

Ok, are your eyes closed? If you said yes, you're lying....

Ok, for everyone else...

Reading is a necessary evil and I don't want to do it anymore...at least not for homework.

Ok, you can open your eyes now.

I know you read the whole thing. You're so disobedient.

After 21 years, I finally get it

Fortress Around Your Heart
http://www.sting.com/discog/?v=so&a=1&id=137


Under the ruins of a walled city
Crumbling towers in beams of yellow light
No flags of truce, no cries of pity
The siege guns had been pounding through the night
It took a day to build the city
We walked through its streets in the afternoon
As I returned across the fields I'd known
I recognised the walls that I once made
I had to stop in my tracks for fear
Of walking on the mines I'd laid
And if I've built this fortress around your heart
Encircled you in trenches and barbed wire
Then let me build a bridge
For I cannot fill the chasm
And let me set the battlements on fire

Then I went off to fight some battle
That I'd invented inside my head
Away so long for years and years
You probably thought, or even wished that I was dead
While the armies all are sleeping
Beneath the tattered flag we'd made
I had to stop in my tracks for fear
Of walking on the mines I'd laid

And if I've built this fortress around your heart
Encircled you in trenches and barbed wire
Then let me build a bridge
For I cannot fill the chasm
And let me set the battlements on fire

This prison has now become your home
A sentence you seem prepared to pay
It took a day to build the city
We walked through its streets in the afternoon
As I returned across the lands I'd known
I recognised the fields where I'd once played
I had to stop in my tracks for fear
Of walking on the mines I'd laid

And if I've built this fortress around your heart
Encircled you in trenches and barbed wire
Then let me build a bridge
For I cannot fill the chasm
And let me set the battlements on fire

Nostalgia

I finally got the cornrows out. I've had to wear them for about a month because I couldn't do my hair on my own. I can finally make a ponytail all by myself.

I'm also getting kind of nostalgic lately. I'm totally ashamed to admit this, but I was actually listening to Chicago's greatest hits the other day and I find myself listening to a lot of music that I listened to in high school. It seems strange to say that I've been out of high school for 15 years now, but alas, it has been that long.

I've been thinking a lot about those years and I realize one thing that I wish I had known then. I guess it's the one thing that I can pass on to tweens and teens alike. All the people who I concerned myself with or should I say over-concerned myself with are just a mere after thought in my memory. I don't know if I would recognize most of them if they approached me today. I only keep in touch with one person from high school, none from middle school, and only one from elementary school, but only because we were born best friends. We will always be connected as psuedo-sisters even if we only talk to each other about twice a year.

I guess what I'm saying is the people come in and out of our lives, for good or for bad. The key is figuring out which people are for the good and which are for bad.

Sun with many lies on LOST

From: http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/6867118/from/ET/

Going overboard: In flashback a young Sun was confronted by her father and blamed the maid for breaking a glass ballerina. Later, after her marriage to Jin, she cheated on him with her friend Jae, and once again she saw the disapproving face of her father looking on. Sun knows two things really well: domineering men and lies. Back on island time, Sun realized that Sayid was up to something. He had them build a second signal fire further north on the coast, presumably to signal Jack and the gang. When she called him out for lying about it, Sayid admitted that it was really a trap to draw the Others out. He told her that he needed her to lie to Jin about it. “Why?” she asked. “Because once the fire is lit, it will be too late to go back.” To keep her safe, Sun was sent to the boat while Sayid and Jin planned to overrun the search party. But the boat was where the real action was, with Sun taking out Colleen and going over the side of the sailboat in a hail of gunfire.


Where there’s smoke: Once the fire was set, Jin let Sun in on a little secret. He understands a lot more English than she thinks he does, and he was hip to the deception about the signal all along. As Sun translated to Sayid, “He knows I betrayed him.” But back in flashbackland, he didn’t pick up on the clues as easily. Sun’s father asked Jin to eliminate Jae for “stealing” from him. When Jin refused, he told him, “You married my daughter that makes you my son.” After staking out Jae’s place, Jin beat him up but couldn’t go through with killing him. He returned to his car and seconds later Jae’s body landed on the hood.


Something shocking: Mr. Friendly and Pickett (the Other who took a blood sample from Michael last season) escorted Kate and Sawyer to a labor camp. Pickett laid down the rules. “You talk to each other, you’re going to be shocked. You touch each other, you’re going to be shocked.” And he went on to explain that most any activity that didn’t involve rock harvesting would lead to a stun gun to the chest. But when Kate refused to go on until she saw Jack, she learned that it was Sawyer who got the jolt for her disobedience. After he recovered, Sawyer took a break from wheelbarrow duty and rushed to lock lips with Kate. It wasn’t all for romance sake, as he pulled some swift moves on the Others who charged him. He took Pickett’s shotgun, but before he could make any real threats, Juliet already had a pistol to Kate. Sawyer earned a few more volts for that one.


A familiar face: While Kate was working the quarry yard, someone called out to her from the brush. It was none other than Alex, Rousseau’s offspring and reluctant Other. Alex wanted to know if Kate had seen her friend in one of the cages. The exchange was brief, and later Kate and Sawyer were back in lock-up. Sawyer recalled their kiss and told her, “You taste like strawberries.” She added that he, in fact, tasted like fish biscuits. The post-chain gang flirting continued.


Let’s make a deal: Now Jack’s the captive and Ben’s the interrogator, and as Ben pointed that’s the exact opposite of the situation they were recently in. But Ben wanted to come clean with Jack and give him a proper introduction. “Hi. My name is Benjamin Lyons, and I’ve lived on this island all my life.” Explaining to Jack that they had access to the outside world, Ben ran through a list of missed events from back home: Bush’s reelection, Christopher Reeve’s death and the Red Sox World Series victory. He lost Jack on that last one until he showed him the win on television. Then Ben made an offer. “If you listen to me, and you trust me when the time comes, I’ll take you home.”

Bluetooth

When I wear my new bluetooth headset, I feel like Uhura from Star Trek.

"Captain, we're getting a message from Starfleet Headquarters"

Time is on my side

Project #1 for my Graphic Design class:

Assignment: Project 1 - Meaning of text
As we have discussed text attributes such as size, position and orientation can help us navigate text and give it meaning. In this project the student will use those attributes to create a design. First choose a phrase, such as "Thinking outside the box" ; "What goes up must come down"; "Money makes the world go round" etc. Then input the phrase into a page layout program, creating separate text blocks for each of the words. By rotating, resizing and repositioning the words, try to create a design that will augment the meaning of the phrase. You may also make individual words or letters bold or italicized. Use only one font. Be creative. You may also break the words into individual letters if need be. Pay attention to all of your page space, not just the portion you think you are using.

My project:


My instructors comments: Great job! Good use of phrase to augment the meaning of the text. Good color choice and use of positioning the letters within the phrase. (Grade - 93%)

Some classmate comments:

#1 - Good Idea Julie. You actually inspired my project.
#2 - I think that the project looked very professional. I liked the use of color
and the way the words spread across the page. I also like the way the words
were transparent, making it easy for you too see behind them. Having said
that, I don't think it completely captured the 'time on your side' saying. I
think that making the words more vertical, may have helped.
#3 - I was able to get this right away. Good way to relay the message "time is on my side'!

Amish community teaches us a lesson in forgiveness

This article appeared on MSN.com today:

Pa. Amish community grieves, forgives
Families bury slain girls, urge forgiveness of gunman who killed five kids

References

I think that every book should have both the MLA-style and APA-style of referencing in the front of the book so that you know how to list it in a bibliography.

Don't you hate writing reports?

An Evening with Carol Burnett

I wish I lived in Texas..

I've been Gilmored

I just got Gilmore Girls Season 6 in the mail and was mildly disappointed to find that there is on bonus material. The other thing that I realized was that the rift between Lorelei and Rory lasted entirely too long, 7 episodes to be exact. That's not including the summer. In Stars Hollow time, it lasted about 6 months. Amazon.com asked the all important question, "Can it be the Gilmore Girls if the Gilmore girls aren't together?"

Their splint got on my nerves after a while and I wondered how long Amy and Dan Pallidino were going to drag this out. But amazingly, because I love the writing, I still watched the show. When they added the April character, Luke's long lost daughter, that just threw another monkey wrench in the situation.

Don't get me wrong. I love the show. It's one of the only shows I look forward to watching each week besides Lost, of course. Season 7 of the Gilmore Girls starts September 26 on the CW, minus the Pallidinos. It'll be interesting to see how the characters develop this season and if they'll talk as fast.

A change gon' come

Sometimes change comes
and it's a breath of fresh air.

Sometimes change comes
and it brings the foul stench of disappointment.

Sometimes changes comes
when you need it
and it saves you from yourself.

Sometimes change comes
at just the wrong time
and someone needs saving from you.

The one thing about change
is that we all have to learn
to adjust and to accept and to move on.

After all the only thing
that is constant in our lives
is change.

Wide awake

It's 2:16 am and I'm still up doing work. I was exhausted when I got home, but somehow I've managed to stay awake. Whenever I get started on a project like this, my energy level goes up. It's almost obsessive, I can't go to sleep until the project's done...Mostly because my mind will work on it all night if I don't finish it.

Tomorrow is my last official day of leave, although I've been working most days since my accident. I'm not sure what it'll be like when I go back because my arm is still going to be in the sling. So I'll still be typing with one arm. I'm getting better at it, but I have to use spell check a lot more than before.

I start physical therapy next week. I'll know what days and how often on Tuesday, so don't ask me until Tuesday afternoon. I also don't know how long I'll be in this sling, nor do I know how long my recovery time will be...*sigh* Can you tell that I've been asked these questions a lot already?

Ok, I'm tired now... I'm going to bed...Please don't me before 9 am.

Surgery today

I'm about to head to the hospital for my surgery. They're going to use screws and plates to put my elbow back together again. I wonder if there will be theme music when I run or throw something...like the bionic woman

Canadian pennies

Did you think that Canadians hate American pennies as much as we hate Canadian pennies?

Elbow Update

I finally found a position that will allow me to sleep comfortably. I have sleep on my couch with a pillow on my stomach and my arm on the pillow. Having a broken elbow is no fun...although the people at work are having fun spreading rumors about how I broke it. One story has me drunk and stumbling down the steps. The other story has me getting into an argument with my vice president and punching him out.

The real story is not nearly as exciting. I had on sandals that were a little slippery and I fell - plain and simple. I went down seven steps without really touching any of them.

My surgery is Wednesday 9/6 and they are going to put my elbow back together with pins and screws. It'll be the first step toward becoming a borg. I don't want to be a borg.

Reflex Sympathetic Dystrophy Syndrome

What is RSD?
from: http://www.rsds.org/2/what_is_rsd_crps/index.html

Reflex Sympathetic Dystrophy Syndrome (RSD) - also known as Complex Regional Pain Syndrome (CRPS) - is a chronic neurological syndrome characterized by:

severe burning pain
pathological changes in bone and skin
excessive sweating
tissue swelling
extreme sensitivity to touch


[For a complete description of RSD/CRPS symptoms, please read the Diagnosis section of the Clinical Practice Guidelines section of this website].

There are Two Types of CRPS - Type I and Type II.

CRPS Type I (also referred to as RSD) - cases in which the nerve injury cannot be immediately identified
CRPS Type II (also referred to as Causalgia) - cases in which a distinct "major" nerve injury has occurred
RSD/CRPS is best described in terms of an injury to a nerve or soft tissue (e.g. broken bone) that does not follow the normal healing path
RSD/CRPS development does not appear to depend on the magnitude of the injury. The sympathetic nervous system seems to assume an abnormal function after an injury
Since there is no single laboratory test to diagnose RSD/CRPS, the physician must assess and document both subjective complaints (medical history) and, if present, objective findings (physical examination).


Criteria for Diagnosing

Complex Regional Pain Syndrome Type I (RSD)

The presence of an initiating noxious event, or a cause of immobilization
Continuing pain, allodynia, or hyperalgesia with which the pain is disproportionate to any inciting event
Evidence at some time of edema, changes in skin blood flow (skin color changes, skin temperature changes more than 1.1°C difference from the homologous body part), or abnormal sudomotor activity in the region of the pain
This diagnosis is excluded by the existence of conditions that would otherwise account for the degree of pain and dysfunction

Complex Regional Pain Syndrome Type II (Causalgia)

The presence of continuing pain, allodynia, or hyperalgesia after a nerve injury, not necessarily limited to the distribution of the injured nerve
Evidence at some time of edema, changes in skin blood flow (skin color changes, skin temperature changes more than 1.1°C difference from the homologous body part), or abnormal sudomotor activity in the region of pain
This diagnosis is excluded by the existence of conditions that would otherwise account for the degree of pain and dysfunction.

They call me stumpy

Living the past three days with one arm in a sling has been a bit of a challenge. I never realized how many things required two hands.

Want to hear something funny? The pharmacy put safety caps on my prescription. So I was all alone in my apt fighting to get my own prescription open.

One challenge I didn't anticipate was eating. Plenty of people have offered to bring me food. Here's the thing, I can't cut any thing. I can barely eat with a fork. Right now, I'm like a toddler learning how to eat by myself with a big girl spoon.

My other challenge is typing. Right now I'm writing this blog with one hand. I'm actually getting pretty fast at it. I'm not ready to go back to work, but I think I have an idea of how things will be when I go back.

Ok dearies...back to couch for more movies.

On the disabled list

I'll make this short and too the point... I fractured my elbow yesterday and I'm in a splint and a sling.

OWWWWWWWWWWWWW!

Wizard of Oz

I was watching the Wizard of Oz today and got a glimpse into what men are really like. Ok, I don't want to seem like I'm analyzing the movie to death, but....

The scarecrow
The scarecrow has no brain, yet almost immediately, he's telling Dorothy what to do and how to act. It's funny how the moment after the wizard gave him the diploma, the first thing out of his mouth was wrong... "the square root of the sum of any two sides of an isosoles triangle is equal to the square root of the remaining side"...that's actually not true...it is true with an equilateral triangle. I have read that the writers did that on purpose, sort of an inside intellectual joke.

The tin man
The tin man has no heart although he has to be one of the most weepy man you'll ever meet. Then it becomes painfully obvious that he may not have a heart or at least no sense of other people's feelings. When Dorothy and Scarecrow ask if there are animals in the forest, the Tin Man, in a "pass-the-salt", monotone voice, says, that there are mostly lions and tigers and bears. His tone is so like, "yeah, they might eat you...deal with it!" Later in the movie, he just randomly starts crying because Dorothy went to sleep... Good Grief!!! It almost makes you hate men who cry.

The Lion
Oh my goodness... ok, where to do I start? He starts off shooting his mouth off and ends up going for the only creature who has the courage to stand up to him...Toto. Ok so as soon as Dorothy clocks the lion, which if you look at the scene carefully enough, you'll see Judy Garland trying not to laugh, the real lion's personality comes out. He's not so much a coward as he is a scaredy-cat. He has gotten accustomed to displaying false bravery, as have all men. But when faced with a real challenge, what does he do? He passes out. Eventually he steps up to the plate.

There is so much more, but you have to keep in mind that this movie was released 67 years ago in 1939. I still love the movie.

My science final...and stuff

Ok, I totally blew my science final... but hey, I did it and it's over. I don't want to ever take any science classes again. That final destroyed my brain. The lady in the test center told me that she was worried about me because every time she looked at me, my head was in my hands. That was me trying not to cry. *sigh*

Well, while I was studying today, I watched a fire drill. The folks in the library, nursing and admin buildings had a fire drill. I couldn't hear the alarm, so I wasn't 100% sure what was going on. Most people, I heard, took their own sweet time exiting the building. It was a good thing that there wasn't a real fire.

So, I have 19 days before my fall classes start. I ordered my text books today. But I'm going to savor these two and half weeks off. I have lots to do work-wise, but I think things are starting to level out. My goal is to try not to stress. After all, I survived my first year at UMUC. I have high hopes for this year. I have also set myself up with a good schedule for the ministry. I'm really getting better at it and I'm really starting to enjoy it more.

I don't have any words of wisdom for the day because my brain is mush right now. I have to go to bed now.

Left-handedness Famous lefties, and some handedness facts

From: http://www.vindy.com/content/local_regional/318634294166551.php
Here's a bit of this and that concerning lefties.

Some famous lefties: Gerald Ford, Ronald Reagan, Bill Clinton, Benjamin Franklin, H. Ross Perot, Joan of Arc, Alexander the Great, Julius Caesar, Queen Victoria of England, Helen Keller, Dr. Albert Schweitzer, Edward R. Murrow, Jay Leno, Richard Simmons, F. Lee Bailey, Mark Twain, Phil Collins, Jim Hendrix, Cole Porter, Paul Simon, Dan Aykroyd, Carol Burnett, George Burns, Charlie Chaplin, Whoopie Goldberg, Cary Grant, Goldie Hawn, Angelina Jolie, Steve McQueen, Marilyn Monroe, Sarah Jessica Parker, Oscar de la Hoya, Terry Labonte, Boomer Esiason, Kenny Stabler, Larry Bird, Bill Russell, Whitey Ford, Casey Stengel and Tommy Lasorda.

Fascinating facts:

• Most left-handers draw figures facing to the right.There is a high tendency in twins for one to be left-handed.
• Left-handers adjust more readily to seeing underwater.
• Left-handers excel particularly in tennis, baseball, swimming and fencing.
• Left-handers usually reach puberty four to five months after right-handers.
• Four of the five original designers of the Macintosh computer were left-handed.
• One in four Apollo astronauts were left-handed.

Sites: There are many Web sites on being left-handed. Among them are www.lefthander.com and www.lefthandersday.com, the sources for this information.

Images in my brain

I'm starting to wonder about my dreams. They are odd, containing people with whom I hardly ever think about or interact. They are all people in my waking life, but not prominent figures in that life. What does this mean?

I have no idea.

I've often wondered why we are so obsessed with our dreams and their meaning in our lives. For instance, if I dream that I'm rolling in a pile of $1 bills, does that mean that money is coming my way or does it mean that I am a greedy person who is only concerned with making money my sole source of happiness?

Why is it so hard? Maybe it's because we don't know from where our dreams come. They are quite random and emerge from the inner crevices of the psyche. Some people claim that our dreams are just manifestations of our inner most desires and fears and that somehow our brains find symbolic ways to translate those desires and fears into images that seem familiar to us.

So... if that's true, how come I can fly in my dreams? or how come I can fall off a cliff, but not go splat on the ground? How come I can do things that border on being wrong, but not actually cross that line? Why do I dream that people, who love me in the waking world, begin to violently hate me? Or better yet, why can I fix things, problems, in my dreams...problems that I am powerless to even approach in my waking life?

Dreams are weird...things...who can really understand?

Besides, Joseph and Daniel, that is....

Chicken soup for the soul

It's amazing what 11 hours of sleep will do for you. I went to bed at 8 pm last night and didn't wake up until 7:30 am. I dreamt about all kinds of things, some not so pleasant, but not scary either. I don't want to say what the dream was because you might think me sick and demented.

I'm watching Superman now... no not the new one. The first one with Chris Reeve. I haven't seen in so many years, I feel like I'm watching it for the first time. I should've made some popcorn or had some ice cream, but that would've been one more dish to wash. I'm sick of washing dishes.

And with that, I'll end this blog... because I have nothing else to say :-/

Conflict

con·flict (knflkt)
n.

• A state of open, often prolonged fighting; a battle or war.
• A state of disharmony between incompatible or antithetical persons, ideas, or interests; a clash
• Psychology. A psychic struggle, often unconscious, resulting from the opposition or simultaneous functioning of mutually exclusive impulses, desires, or tendencies.
  Opposition between characters or forces in a work of drama or fiction, especially opposition that motivates or shapes the action of the plot.

intr.v. con·flict·ed, con·flict·ing, con·flicts (kn-flkt)

• To be in or come into opposition; differ.
• Archaic. To engage in warfare.

The apostle Paul spoke of man's internal conflict, the spirit vs. the flesh at
(ROMANS 7:21-23) 21 I find, then, this law in my case: that when I wish to do what is right, what is bad is present with me. 22 I really delight in the law of God according to the man I am within, 23 but I behold in my members another law warring against the law of my mind and leading me captive to sin’s law that is in my members.

We all go through this at some point in our lives. I'm going through it right now.

If you're boy, don't read this

A friend told me today that once you reach your thirties, your body starts going through changes. She told me that she started getting weepy over the strangest things and that she started getting migraines.

Well, I've been weepy, but haven't had the migraines.

Monday I was hostile and weepy.
Tuesday I was emotionally drained and weepy.
Today I was just weepy.

Sometimes, it's no fun being a girl :(

Long week...already

When is it ok to compromise standards that you set for yourself? I'm not talking about moral standards because I don't think it's ever right to compromise your christian principles.

I guess what I'm talking about is having expectations about how I handle myself in particular situations. I mean,for the most part, I'm an easy going person. But lately, I've been feeling my patience running really REALLY short. I expect things to be a certain way, for people to abide by a set of rules that I have inside my head.

Why don't other people know these rules? Why can't other people live and act by my standards? Why can't I write a sentence about someone else? Why is everything about me?

I need to get this resolved either by changing my attitude or everyone else's. I think the former is easier. But it will take some work.

Maybe I need some starbucks...

Gina's Song

artist: Reba McEntire lyrics
title: I'll Be
album: So Good Together

(Dianne Warren)

When darkness falls upon your heart and soul.
I'll be the light that shines for you.
When you forget how beautiful you are
I'll be there to remind you.
When you can't find your way,
I'll find my way to you.
When troubles come around,
I will come to you.

I'll be your shoulder when you need someone to lean on.
Be your shelter.
When you need someone to see you through.
I'll be there to carry you.
I'll be there.
I'll be the rock that will be strong for you.
The one that will hold on to you.
When you feel that rain falling down.
When there's nobody else around.
I'll be.

And when you're there with no one there to hold.
I'll be the arms that reach for you.
And when you feel your faith is running low.
I'll be there to believe in you.
When all you find are lies.
I'll be the truth you need.
When you need someone to run to.
You can run to me

I'll be your shoulder when you need someone to lean on.
Be your shelter.
When you need someone to see you through.
I'll be there to carry you.
I'll be there.
I'll be the rock that will be strong for you.
The one that will hold on to you.
When you feel that rain falling down.
When there's nobody else around.
I'll be.

I'll be the sun.
When your heart's filled with rain.
I'll be the one.
To chase the rain away.

I'll be your shoulder when you need someone to lean on.
Be your shelter.
When you need someone to see you through.
I'll be there to carry you.
I'll be there.
I'll be the rock that will be strong for you.
The one that will hold on to you.
When you feel that rain falling down.
When there's nobody else around.
I'll be.
I'll be.

Long Day

There are days when I like I can't do anything right. Nothing goes the way it should and at the end of the day, I wish that I hadn't gotten out of bed.

Yesterday was one of those days.

Today is going to be a better day... it has to be!

There's no crying in baseball!

sorry for being lax

I haven't been posting as much this month... or should I say, July. It's been hectic with traveling and then getting back to work. I've been so overwhelmed with all my work and with my summer class. Who ever allowed my to take a science class online didn't do me any favors. I needed a face-to-face section so that I could understand things better. But what's done is done.

I had a conversation that left me emotional distraught and questioning my choice of careers....

I'm just kidding...

It did wear me out though. Now I just want to go to sleep and not wake up for 24 hours. That won't happen, but a girl can dream ;)

Stand

You feel like a candle in a hurricane
Just like a picture with a broken frame
Alone and helpless
Like you've lost your fight
But you'll be alright

[Chorus:]
Cause when push comes to shove
You taste what you're made of
You might bend, till you break
Cause its all you can take
On your knees you look up
Decide you've had enough
You get mad you get strong
Wipe your hands shake it off
Then you Stand, Then you stand
Life's like a novel
With the end ripped out
The edge of a canyon
With only one way down
Take what you're given before its gone
Start holding on, keep holding on

[Repeat Chorus]

Everytime you get up
And get back in the race
One more small piece of you
Starts to fall into place
Ooohhh

[Repeat Chorus]

-Rascal Flatts
Stand

My new guilty pleasure

VH1 and Entertainment Weekly are putting the country's pop culture savvy to the test with the new original series "The World Series of Pop Culture," presented by Alltel Wireless.

http://www.vh1.com/shows/dyn/wsopc/series.jhtml

A word from the President

John F. Kennedy Presidential Library and Museum

Team Aniston vs. Team Jolie

Ok, is anyone else disturbed by the fact that Angelina Jolie stole the role of Marianne Pearl from Jennifer Aniston? The fact that she got a role over Aniston is not what disturbs me so much as the idea that either one of them was up for the role of a Marianne Pearl.

Take a look at Marianne Pearl

Angelina Jolie to star in Brad Pitt-produced film

Red Day - In more ways than one

Saturday's journey was not for the faint of heart. My plans were very ambitious:

1. Aquarium
2. Museum of Fine Arts (second visits)
3. Institute of Contemporary Arts
4. Skywalk Observatory.

I made it to the aquarium and 9:45 am after coaching a follow tourist about planning day trips. After making sure she got some water for the day. I headed for the aquarium. The penguins were cute. There were a million kinds of fish in a thousand tanks. There was one large take with a ton of big fish including barracudas and the giant sea turtle from Finding Nemo. I immediately wanted to know how old he was because Sandy Plankton said that sea turtles live to be 100 years old. But hey what does Sandy Plankton know? As it turns out the sea turtle was 65 years old.

I left the aquarium with a slight headache and feeling a little icky, but I chalked it up to not having a good breakfast. I went back to the subway station and headed out to the Museum of Fine Arts for the second time. I really wanted to go back to the gift shop. When I went on Thursday, I didn't have enough money to get anything. This time I went in armed with cash. I found a poster for my mom and a postcard or two.

I left the MFA intent on seeing the Institute of Contemporary Art. It was on the way to the Skywalk Observatory. I arrived at the ICA subway stop and wandered around Boylston street, but I couldn't find the ICA. I walked and walked and finally found it - and it was closed. I did find the Virgin Megastore and yes, I went in. It was a pretty nice store, very well stocked with a variety of selections. Just in case you're wondering, yes, I did buy some music.

It was odd being in the Virgin Megastore. It made me think back to my days at Sam Goody. You know, there was a period of time when I really loved working there. The days when it just about the music were the best days. I still really love music and I think that's what I miss the most about Sam Goody. My goodness...My thoughts have strayed.

I left to go to my next destination, the SkyWalk Observatory... Oddly enough, I didn't realize that I was one block away. I got on the subway and transferred trains just to end up one block away. By now, I felt really strange. I figured that I should take some pain medication for my now throbbing head. I went into the Prudential Center intent on finding food. I ended up going to Qdoba, the Mexican restaurant I discovered in Philadelphia and got a chicken taco salad.

Now, here's where the trip gets a little bit graphic.

I made my way to the food court and as I was sitting there, I kept feeling like I was going to pass out. I was having mini blackouts and I felt like the room was moving. I decided that it was best to go to the restroom in case I got sick and of course there were a million people in line. There were women with children, friends talking and all I could think was, "please don't let me throw up in line". Finally, my turn... Nothing... Man, I really thought it was coming. I guess it was a false alarm.

See that's what I thought....

I started walking out of the mall and suddenly...SPLAT!!!

I fell to my knees and tried to get myself together. No one stopped to help me, but I managed on my own to make back to the restroom, which was, of course, empty. I cleaned up a bit and headed straight to the subway to get back to the hotel. I finally made it back to the hotel and crashed in the bed. I felt horrible the rest of the night so I just stayed in bed. My mom told me to let the hotel folks know if I get sick again and to have them take me to hospital if I threw up again. Thankfully, I didn't.

Blue Day - Friday

I have been reading about the Freedom Trail ever since I decided to go the Boston. Its history dates back to colonial times just before and after the American Revolutionary war. The major characters in this tale are, Samuel Adams (yes, the beer guy), John Adams (the president), John Hancock (the signature guy), and Paul Revere.

The trail starts out in Boston Common near the new state house and goes for 2.5 miles. It has several stops along the way including the Park Street Church (a.k.a Fire and Brimstone corner), Granary Graveyard, Spring Street, Old State House, The Boston Massacre, Paul Revere's House, and Old North Church. It was an interesting trek, but at 90+ degree heat, it became a bit hard to keep interested. We lost some people along the way.

There were two interesting things of note for the Freedom Trail.

1. If you go, you have to know that you will most likely start in Boston Common, which is the main (central) park in Boston. Now there may be people randomly lying in the grass asleep...Some are hobos and some aren't don't be alarmed, just keep walking.

2. If you wear a backpack and look young, you may get a student discount. They may or may not ask for your ID. They took me for my word, which was good because I think my ID card was expired.

After the Freedom Trail, I went to Harvard University, "There is no substitute!" (From the movie, Soul Man). Harvard's Museum of Natural History has some exhibits that are similar to the Museum of Science. But they did have some cultural exhibits, like art and artifacts from central and south america. It was great to see artifacts from the Aztec and Mayan people and to see Teotihucan represented as well.

In another room, there were photos by Anne Winston Spirn. Her photos were mostly rural, but very powerful, capturing nature's beauty. After seeing Winston Spirn's and Laura McPhee's photos, I have a new respect for the art of photography. Photographers capture life as it is, but they bring things to our attention that we may both have noticed on our own.

As fascinating as the exhibits were, I was getting restless. I was really excited to be on the campus of Harvard. I felt like I was in the episode of the Gilmore Girls when Lorelei and Rory went to visit Harvard. I walked around Harvard Yard, desperately wanting to see a dorm, a classroom, and then I saw the library. I didn't go for fear of incurring yet another library fine. I have incurred fines in libraries all over the place.

After exploring campus a bit, I walked around cambridge for a while. I found a Harvard souvenir shop and bought a Harvard shirt and cap. I grabbed lunch, listened to three guys play some music in the town square and then headed for the subway...Next stop, JFK Presidential Library at UMass.

The JFK Library was interesting because it detailed John F. Kennedy's days as a senator, his presidential campaign, inauguration, highlights of his term and his family life. There were videos of actual events (presidential debates and the "ask not what you can do for your country" speech, replicas of actual furniture pieces from the oval office, and real hand written notes for speeches. In one hallway there was a video of Bill Clinton talking about meeting JFK when he was a teenager. It was funny to see the video of that meeting.

The JFK Library closed at 5 pm and I decided to head to Fanuiel Hall to get some dinner. I read about a restaurant called Durgin-Park, so I decided to look for it. It is right near Cheers, which was jammed packed. I ordered the seafood platter and tried to recover from the day. It was really hot and I was thoroughly exhausted. Heat stroke did cross my mind, but since I was drinking lots of water, I thought I was fine.

I made it back to the hotel at 8 pm in need of a shower and lots of sleep. I got both :)

Green Lines and pasty white people

After a couple of hours of planning, checking and replanning, I decided on an itinerary for each day in Boston (check out yesterday's blog). Gina told me to start out early to take in the most activities. So I started out at 8 am and took the hotel shuttle to the subway. On the way, We drove by the NECCO factory...you know NECCO wafers.

Apparently, NECCO stands for New England Confectionary Company. The headquarters is in Revere Mass, just outside Boston. I never really liked NECCO wafers, but it was cool to see the factory.

The driver dropped us off at the airport metro stop and off I went. After a couple of tries, I finally got a day pass. Today is green day, so all my destinations are on the green line. Ok, off to the Museum of Science. The Museum of Science is like the Maryland Science Center, I think bigger. one of the first displays I saw was related to something we just learned in science class - the principle of conduction. There were three squares, one copper, one wood, and one granite. The copper square appeared to be the coldest, but they were all the same temperature. Since copper is a good conductor, it pulled the most heat from my hand, making it appear to be the coolest square.

I walked by another display that I never thought about being scientific. Remember view masters? It never occured to me that science was involved in those 3D images. Of course, I haven't seen one since I was a kid, so why would I have thought about the science behind view-masters?

The mathematics room had some interesting exhibits including the pinball vortex looking thing that simulated the orbit of the planets in the solar system. As I watched the silver ball go round and round, I felt like I should place a bet... black 17. It took about 6 minutes to finally go down the hole. Next stop, animals live. It was a mini show with a live animal. This was clearly a show for young kids, but hey, it sounded interesting. Right behind my seat was a glassed in display of bats. Needless to say, I didn't really need to read about nor see any bats. I've already seen too many as it is. The featured animal was ground hound aka the wood chuck and before you ask, yes the host did bring up the infamous question, "how much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?" To set the record straight, woodchucks can't chuck wood at all. I was kind of disappointed to hear that, but hey, what are you going to do?

There was another exhibit about the human body and where babies come from. They showed the female reproductive organs and male reproductive organs. There was even a video with a real child birth. There was a little boy about 9 or 10 who declared that only the girls needed to see that video. I opted out. One of my last stops was the Theatre of Electricity. It was really cool. They simulate electricity and create an indoor lightning storm.

Ok, off to destination #2... Museum of Fine Arts. E line to Arlington, transfer Heath line. The Museum of Fine Arts, located across from Wentworth Institute of Technology, is a grand old building that from one side looks like an old municipal building. They're building a new wing, but I have no idea what it looks like, I wondered over there, but go so turned around and lost. Anyhow, inside, they have two rotunda areas that jet off in several directions with halls with art from various lands and times. Of course there was european art from the 16th through 19th century. There was one thing that I noticed about museums - the lighting is different in each room. The dark paintings of plump naked white people are kept in darker rooms. My first thought was that it would lessen the chance of you noticing just how naked these white folks are. Question, what was the deal with naked white folks. They were always fainting or looking very tired. They were in a pre-fig leaf frame of mind because it didn't seem to be a big deal that
most of the people in the paintings were naked. Although there was one painting where a man was trying to cover up a lady who was nude, as if to say, "DUDE!, you can't paint my women in the nude!"

Now the folks who did have clothes on seemed annoyed that they had to sit for the painting, no one looked happy or interested at all. They kind of looked like me after I had seen about two rooms of naked people...bored. I know it's art, but it's just not the kind that I'm terribly interested in. There was one painting that I did find interesting out of all the European art exhibits. There was one of Salome, from the bible. She was being handed John the Baptist's head on a silver platter. Now, this painting was based on the account from the gospel account according to Luke, where King Herod is hosting a birthday party for Salome. He promises her anything she wants and because John the Baptist made it know that Salome's mother and King Herod had married on unscriptural grounds, Salome's mother told Salome to ask Herod for John's head on a platter. It's interesting because I did something in the museum that I never did before. I listened to music on my mp3 player. As I was walking to this painting, I was listening to evanescence's song Missing.

"Even though I'm the sacrifice,
You won't try for me, not now."

When she sang those words, I felt so bad for John the Baptist.

After evanescence and the european paintings, I headed for 19th and 20th century american art. Dave Matthews' Before these Crowded Streets was my soundtrack and I really felt like it added the experience. During my trek through the 20th century I saw a Joanne Hawkins look-a-like. She's a lady from work. I didn't think much of that except for the fact that she really looked like Joanne's twin. I wanted to take a picture, but there was no discreet way to do it. Of course, when I went through the main hallway and saw another person who looked like an HCC employee, I started to worry that my subconscious was missing work. Again I tried to shake it off and then low and behold, I saw a VK look alike. Well, that was more than enough for me. I went to the gift shop, picked up a couple of things and left the museum. I don't know why all those HCC employees had to follow me to the museum. They weren't going to get me to help them with their web pages, I didn't care what they said. No help desk calls on vacation.

Before I left, I did go through a great photography exhibit for Laura McPhee. She is really good.

My final destination was Boston College. I read that there was a Nurembego Park Exhibit at the John L. Burns Library. When I got to Boston College, I discovered that no one even knew where the Burns Library was located. I got there and I have to say that I was mildly disappointed that the exhibit was a bunch of old post cards and flyers in a glass case. I was in and out in 5 minutes.

I made my way back to the hotel in about an hour and finally got off my feet. They weren't quite on fire but they were close to it. I sat on the bed for while and answered some email. I don't understand why I've gotten so much email in the past two days.

Tomorrow is the Red Line day.

Beantown

Although I slept well last night, I did wake up a couple of times throughout the night. I managed to get up on time and get my house organized for the trip. I have people coming to my house on Monday and really didn't want to have to clean Sunday night after I get home.

The plane ride was pretty uneventful. I did get my seat changed to the emergency exit row. It's pretty cool because there's more leg room in that row. Of course, if there's an emergency, you are obligated to help the cabin crew and your fellow passengers to safety.

The flight, which took all over one hour, went smoothly and I was pleasantly surprise to find out that AirTran has XM satellite radio on its flights. You can connect to it through your arm rest. I think I like XM satellite radio, but I don't think I can afford it right now.

When we landed at Logan Airport, I saw another plane on the run way that said NWA. I instantly thought of the rap group, but then I realized that it probably stood for Northwest airlines. But how funny would it have been if the airplane had been "pimped out" with spinning rims and huge subwoofers in the back?

I retrieved my suitcase... yes it actually made it there... and headed for the shuttle pick up area. Two hours later, the van finally showed up. I don't remember seeing anything on the hotel website saying that you needed to call to ask them to pick you up. But oh well.

The Four Points at Sheraton is a small hotel, but my room has a great big bed. The bed is a king size bed, the largest bed ever. It's a big girl bed for sure.

It was raining when I got here, so my plans to go explore were sort of dashed. But in the long run, it was ok because I arrived with a really bad headache and a stuffy nose. I wanted to get some rest and sleep off this thing that is trying to become a cold. It also gave me the chance to plot out my itinerary based on the detailed subway map I got from the lobby. So here's the plan:

THURSDAY - Green Line
Museum of Science
Museum of Fine Arts
Boston College

FRIDAY - Red Line
Harvard Museum of Natural History
Freedom Trail
John F Kennedy Library

SATURDAY - Blue Line
Boston African American Historical Park
New England Aquarium

I'll post my thoughts and some pix each day so you can read about my adventures.

Exploring Philly

Last night I went to Cereality and it was very interesting. A cereal bar is really cool if you love cereal. Of course after I ate the cereal, I was still hungry. So I went Pat's King of Steaks. I liked the cheesesteaks that I got last year, but the "cheese wiz steak wit" wasn't that good. It had lots of fat on it, which is not good for cheese steaks.

I went to Geno Steaks for cheese fries and saw the most offensive yet patriotic sign. It said, "I'm an american, so I order in english". I have seen patriotic signs before, but something inside me was so incensed by that one. I would think that a store, in what seems to be a poor neighborhood, would want customers from all backgrounds. It seems like they are deliberately alienating the latinos in the neighborhood. But I guess it's ok because over at Pat's, their folks are multilingual and they welcome everyone.

East Coast Gal

After a day of traveling, I'm completely tired. But it's a good tired. I drove here to Philadelphia and I managed to make it here without any problems. I did forget my camera, but I'll deal. I was thinking about getting a disposable camera. But the thought of getting the pictures developed and transferred to CD was more than I could stand. I know, it's lazy, but hey, I'm tired.

I arrived at the hotel and made my way to the check in desk. I picked the Sheraton (http://www.starwoodhotels.com/sheraton/search/hotel_detail.html?propertyID=992) because I've always loved their service, pricing, and cleanliness. But today, I had a few problems checking in. We got things settled and I even found out that my internet connection was free (wooohooo!).

I went to my room and found things exactly as I had left them a year ago. Now of course, I'm not in the same room, but somehow it felt like it was. I unpacked my bags and decided to go on the hunt for food. I resisted the urge to play it lazy and pick up something from the wawa right across the street. I kept walking by and looked at the cafes in the area. It was so nice to walk around University City, a name that is appropriate for the surroundings. Right near by is Drexel University, Penn State, many other colleges, universities and specialty schools for art, culinary arts, writing, and design. There's a school for everything here and there are a million students. Interpersed are buildings that look as old the country itself. Cobbled stones streets in some areas transport me to colonial days where things were simpler.

I continued walking sort of following the crowds of students. I was channeling my inner Rachael Ray, looking for a great place to eat, off the beaten path with great eats. I walked by one place that I made note of called Cereality. It is the greatest store ever. It's a cereal bar. You can go in any get any kind and combination of cereal you want and they put it in a Chinese food take out container for you. I think I'll go back and actually get some cereal one morning before I leave.

I wasn't up for cereal for dinner, so I kept walking. I ended up at a Mexican food place called Qdoba Mexican Grill. They have a few items on the menu, not many. I ordered the chicken fajita burrito, chips and guacamole (smile Gina!). The burrito was not your ordinary burrito. Everything that you would have with fajitas was jammed into this burrito. I didn't actually know how I would eat it. I walked home, talked to my mom on the phone as I walked and marveled at all the scenery that I had never seen in Philly before. All the college students walking around, studying at benches and socializing... It made me realize why I'm not having that great a time in college. As an online student, I don't have the social interaction that goes with a traditional college education. I don't mind for the most part, but there are times when having other students around would be helpful and encouraging to me. Don't get me wrong, I get plenty of support and ultimately I like being unencumbered by the social responsibility that goes along with the college life.

But I digress...

Tomorrow is the first day of the Deliverance at Hand District Convention. I've heard really good things about the convention from other people. I know that I'll leave spiritually encouraged and rejuvenated.

More tomorrow...

MySpace

I don't want to say that I have MySpace envy because I don't. But everyone seems to joining MySpace. I keep getting invitations to join MySpace, but there is something about it that just doesn't sit well with me. I can't put my finger on it and I don't have the words to verbalize it. But I have no desire to join. Odd for me, I know. I'm the techie girl always looking for something new.

Go figure :-/

Shopping

There are days when I am fully convinced that I am lacking some of the most important "girl" genes. Whenever it's time to go shopping for clothes, shoes, purses, jewelry, makeup... basically anything that is unique to women.

I took my poor unsuspecting friend shopping with me because I am hopeless on my own. We started out a little after 1 pm and didn't get home until close to 8 pm. She said that she had a good time... it was torture for me, mostly because I didn't have a clue. I take that back... I knew exactly what I didn't want. But she and my sister Tiffany managed to find three skirts and a top for me. I did pull out one top for myself. I surprised myself. Now, I have to find two more tops and then my outfits will be complete. So tomorrow I have to go to Old Navy to get some camis.