Making Progress

For the past couple of days, Petey has decided that he doesn't want to eat dry food anymore unless there is moist food in the bowl. And even then, he only eats the moist food. For the past two days, I didn't have any moist food so I tried compensate with either mixed veggies or fruit. Petey ate the fruit, but he wouldn't eat anything else.

So today I decided not to put the fruit in the bowl because I've been told by a couple of people that I have to get him back to eating the dry food without any moist food. This way he won't get even more finicky than he has become. So this morning I made him a bowl of food and encouraged him to eat but he wouldn't go near the bowl.

Also this morning I started watching the Cesar Milan DVDs to get a handle on how I should train Petey. I'm learning about being a pack leader and teaching Petey how to be a follower and listen to me. He's basically a good dog, but he generally doesn't sit when I tell him unless I have a treat. He also doesn't stop barking when he sees other dogs.

But here's the thing. I got Petey to eat some of his food. I took a little bit of his food and put it in my hand. Petey thought it was a treat and ate some out of my hand. Every time he ate some food, I put more food in my hand and moved my hand closer to the bowl. Eventually, my hand was in the bowl and then he decided to eat out of the bowl himself. I was very proud of him to get back to eating dry food.

I'm going to try this again later in the day so that he eats the rest of his food.

A difficult task

I don't know why it is so hard to say the things that are deep down inside our hearts. When you are close to someone, it should be easy to tell them exactly how you feel and to articulate it in a coherent way.

I tried it today and am only 40% sure that I managed to say exactly what I meant to say. I didn't say 100% of what I was really feeling and the more I talked, the harder it became to say it. I felt like a babbling idiot.

Does that make me a coward?

A new chapter

Well, there you have it. I have a new job. I'm nervous and excited at the same time. I'm going to leave the familiar surroundings of the IT world for the flare and excitement of the arts world.

When I try to put my feelings into perspective, I feel a sense of apprehensive calm. The past month, I have waited in eager expectation of the moment when I would get the call, thinking, of course, that it would be an exciting, overwhelming moment. Oddly enough when I got the call, I could only answer "OK, cool" because my mind was singularly focused on my American Government final exam. The call, while greatly anticipated, came 30 minutes before my final exam and only served to steal away the last precious moments that I needed to study. Don't get me wrong, it was great to get the call. I just didn't anticipate getting it at that moment.

On Sunday, I sent out my goodbye email to my co-workers. I had it carefully planned with a long list of recipients. And then I sent it and it all became all too real to me. I'm really leaving. I am not going to be in IT anymore. The thought fills me with anxiety - not because I feel that I'm losing something. It's more that I have the learn something new and be really good at it in a short period of time. No pressure, right?

Some of the keys to getting through this will be 1) prayer 2) determination 3) balance and 4) breathing.

Listen by Beyonce

Listen,
To the song here in my heart
A melody I've start
But can't complete

Listen, to the sound from deep within
It's only beginning
To find release

Oh,
the time has come
for my dreams to be heard
They will not be pushed aside and turned
Into your own
all cause you won't
Listen....

[Chorus]
Listen,
I am alone at a crossroads
I'm not at home, in my own home
And I tried and tried
To say whats on my mind
You should have known
Oh,
Now I'm done believing you
You don't know what I'm feeling
I'm more than what, you made of me
I followed the voice
you gave to me
But now I gotta find, my own..

You should have listened
There is someone here inside
Someone I'd thought had died
So long ago

Oh I'm screaming out, for my dreams to be heard
They will not be pushed aside or worse
Into your own
All cause you won't
Listen...

[Chorus]

I don't know where I belong
But I'll be moving on
If you don't....
If you won't....

LISTEN!!!...
To the song here in my heart
A melody I've start
But I will complete

Oh,
Now I'm done believing you
You don't know what I'm feeling
I'm more than what, you made of me
I followed the voice, you think you gave to me
But now I gotta find, my own..
my ownn...

The adventures of Petey the Dog

Ok, so I was on the couch most of the day. I asleep until 4pm. I got up for a little bit around 11:30am when friend called. But for the most part, I slept my life away.

That is, of course, until I decided to go to the store to get soup. Petey really wanted to go, but I can't take him to Safeway. So I promised him that I would be right back. Well... I guess I took too long because when I got back, I found that he had torn into the bag of snacks and had even eaten part of the paper bag. In addition to that, if that weren't bad enough, he peed on the floor... oh wait, I mean carpet.

I couldn't even be mad about it. I felt more sad, like I had let him down. If I had just taken him out before I went to the store this may not have happened. My mom came home with me and she started cleaning up the urine stain. Tiffany took him outside and I just wanted to cry. When we got back in the house, Petey kept having pre-vomitting convulsions. Every time he just kept burping instead of actually vomitting. He couldn't eat his dinner, but he did keep drinking his water.

Petey has been asleep most of the night. I hope he'll be ok. My mom said that this is what it's like to be a parent.