To the couple behind me in line at Giant

Dear Mr and Mrs. Kissy-face....

You don't know this, but I have been at work all day in a very small office. I have many tasks on my plate including making plans for a major system overall that will take up every minute of my days until the new system goes online, which won't be until the end of June. I'm also preparing for Diversity Week at my job and I keep thinking about that diversity day episode of The Office.

Also, I've been on Dr. Ian Smith's Fat Smash Diet for the past nine days and for the first time ever, I'm having horrible cravings for meat and chocolate.

Oh yeah, I have other things on my mind. My furnace intermittently blows cold air unless I put the thermostat up to 85 degrees in my place. It's pretty much a nuisance since it's been really cold.

I'm telling you all this because I have a lot going on and so when you stand less than a foot behind me in line at the self check machine, it annoys me. Give me some space so that I can swipe my credit without having to think about your stupid photographic memory that you will undoubtedly use to steal my identity. Haven't you heard of personal space before? Where were you raised? In a barn or something?

Oh yeah, and I also don't feel like hearing (yes, I said hearing) you suck each other's face off while you are STILL standing less than a foot behind me. It's great that you're in love and I'm happy that you found each other... but can you do that at home, PLEASE? Some of us had a long day and and just don't have the patience for that right now.

Thanks,
The lady in front of you in self check out in Giant.