Crossfit is about data. It is measurable and repeatable. It has benchmark workouts and heroes workouts that crossfitters do periodically to see how they have grown.
Today we repeated a workout from last summer.
10-9-8-7-6-5-4-3-2-1
Power Cleans
Last year when I did this WOD, I use a 75# barbell and 20" box. Today when we retested, I wasn't sure what to do. When you retest, you can either use the same weight and try to go faster or go up in weight and try to get around the same time. I decided to do the latter. I surprised myself.
Today was a good reminder that looking back is good sometimes. We can get caught up in where we are right now and forget about how far we've come.
I have had this ongoing conversation with several other women and there are two opinions out there regarding strength. Everyone wants to be strong in some form or another. But some women feel afraid to "look" strong because they feel like that will make them look masculine. I disagree with every fiber of my being. If I'm walking down the street, I want to look strong enough that no one will consider jumping me and if they do, I will be able to handle my business. But are there women who have large muscles that resemble men's muscles? Absolutely! But most who get to that point have occupations that precipitate that sort of definition like body builders.
Female professional Crossfit athletes do build up muscle, but many still look feminine in their everyday lives. It's only when dressed in workout gear that their full definition can be seen. Because of their training programs, they know where to find balance. And from a body physiology standpoint, they don't do the same type of work that body builders do to gain the kind of mass that matches a man. It's not until artificial means are introduced into training that unusual and unnatural muscle gain is seen for the most part.
Therefore, I propose that real strength is not masculine or feminine. Strength is the ability to be functionally fit to carry out life's daily task and to be healthy while doing those tasks. The key is to understand your body's natural composition. Your body's shape is your body's shape. You can't change your inherent shape structurally. Your bone structure is what it is. You have to be happy with the body you have. But having said that, you should embrace and strive for the healthiest version of you; not the healthiest version of anyone else; just you. Strength is intrinsically connected to health. Don't be afraid of strength. It will keep you living longer and independently for many years to come.
Earlier this week, we retested our 1 rep max front squat at my crossfit gym, Crossfit Cove. We initially tested this lift on April 19th and I was able to lift 215lbs. Over the next two months, we worked on various rep schemes of the front squat.
As you work through a strength cycle, you look to improve form and strength. So there are days when you do multiple sets with multiple reps at a lower weight to improve those aspects of your lift. On June 9th, I managed to hit 205lbs for 2 reps and 225 for 1 rep. This week, I got back to 215lbs and so I attempted 230lbs. That's what this photo shows.
I didn't make the lift. I tried 3 times and couldn't do it. But you know what? I'm ok with it. I ran a 5k the day before; my first since November 2015. So I could've been more rested. If I had tried a little later in the day or later in the week, I might have been able to hit 230lbs. Or maybe I wouldn't have. Who's to say.
But I shared this picture for a completely different reason. This picture shows physical strength. So if you fall down, I can probably pick you up if I needed to. But it also shows something else that no one sees. The past couple of weeks have been very stressful on so many fronts. Dealing with challenges at work, health issues, car issues, and other things that life has thrown me have just been difficult to deal with. They have weighed on me like carrying this weight on my shoulders.
Encouragement from my friends and family and lots of prayers have helped me get through. Some issues are ongoing and require continued endurance and prayer. Some other things have been resolved or are being managed. The key is to remember that disappointments and trials that we face are temporary and that our heavenly Father Jehovah is our source of strength. The bible tells us that "No temptation has come upon you except what is common to men. But God is faithful, and he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear, but along with the temptation he will also make the way out so that you may be able to endure it." (1 Corinthians 10:13). The Apostle Paul mentions temptations, but this scripture also applies to us when we are facing trials. No trial that we face is uncommon to humans. But Jehovah promises to help make a way out for us to endure the trial. That may not mean removing the trial. But it may mean putting people in our path to encourage us, giving us articles in the Watchtower or Awake at just the right time, or putting it our hearts to read that one scripture that just gives us just what we need to continue on. This life is hard. There is no doubt about that. But the hardships we face are temporary. We can face them with prayer and reliance on faithful friends. https://www.jw.org/en/publications/magazines/awake-no1-2016-february/
The next time you think you "can't" do something, take a look at this video.
"When you are supposed to do 70-lb. goblet squats but only have one leg, you figure it the [] out. Also after 80 double Unders ... on one leg." —Anthony Kemp
It started with open workout 16.3. Well, I should say that it became apparent to me during 16.3 that my attitude about Crossfit had changed. After almost a year of loving workouts, my view about training and metcons in particular took a negative turn. My coaches saw it before I did. I was doing metcons at Rx+ almost constantly. That little red badge by your score almost guarantees that you will be at the top of the whiteboard at the end of the day. For a competitive person, being on top all the time can be hard to resist.
It starts with a seemingly innocent competition to beat your friend in a metcon or skill WOD. When that happens, it's a nice feeling. I'm not gonna lie. But the next time it happens, it feels different. It starts to feel like something you have to do. Eventually, beating your friend isn't enough. What you need to get your fix is to beat everyone else. That top spot on the white board is like taking the podium at the Crossfit Games; you are the fittest in your box. You don't say it out loud. But you do think it.
Then that day comes when you find yourself with the whiteboard open all day to check the scores like a gambler at the race track. If you already did the WOD, your main concern is that no one beats your score. If haven't done the workout, your main concern is how you can beat every person that jumps to the top of the whiteboard throughout the day. You think to yourself, "if I do xx reps per minute, I can get this score." You actually start gaming the WOD. But the really low point comes that day when your friends when they do well on a WOD and you don't and you aren't happy for them. You know that day; it's the day when you find yourself in the back of the box upset about that WOD that just didn't go your way. That is the day when you realize that you're in a bad head space.
But wait, didn't you start Crossfit to get in shape? Weren't your first few months so much fun because you were learning so much everyday? Weren't you taking thosee things you learned and becoming functionally fit? Yeah, you were walking taller, feeling confident, eating right and talking about how Crossfit helped improve your health.
That was me. I started off right. But a year later, I was addicted to being on top. I left Wodify up on my computer all day. My low point was when I didn't get a bar muscle up during 16.3. I was mad about it. But what took me over the top was when I saw all of my friends get their first bar muscle ups, one right after another, it just ate away at me on the inside. It was like battery acid on my heart. It burned me alive. When I tried to get one after two days off and didn't get it, I was devastated in a way that I had never experienced before. I was sad and shortly after afterwards deeply ashamed for not being happy for everyone else. You'd think that would be the tipping point for me. But ironically it took two more weeks to see the full depth of my problem.
After the open, I talked to two important people in my life who told me point blank that I needed to get it together. The competition thing had gone too far. So I agreed to take 30 days off from doing Rx+ WODs and 30 days off from Wodify. Now to clarify, I didn't stay completely out of Wodify. I sign in from my phone a couple times a week when I am running late for class. And when we are repeating a skill WOD or Metcon, I check to see what I got previously to gauge where I should be in terms of weight or time. But outside of class, I don't check the whiteboard. Wherever I end up on the whiteboard is no longer been my concern. It's not my business to worry about it.
Now, I didn't miraculously have that realization. At the beginning of my sabbatical, I started meeting ladies from the New You Challenge group. They are all new to Crossfit and for some of them, new to fitness in general. They are starting their journey and everyday is a great day because they are learning new things and seeing gains in all areas of their lives. They are me one year ago. Meeting them and helping them achieve new skills brought me full circle.
Many of the ladies asked me about my journey and what brought me to Crossfit and living a healthy lifestyle. Telling my story helped refocus me and it forced me to go back to living an authentic life. I was living the life of a Crossfit hypocrite. Crossfit is about fitness, yes, but it's also about community. I wasn't about community; I was about me.
My 30 days is almost over and I have been giving some thought about getting back on Wodify and back to doing Rx+ WODs. While I miss liking other people's scores, I have felt some relief from not doing it for a month. Not checking my standing on the whiteboard has forced me to be present during the workout, but then present with my life outside of the box. I don't want to give that up. In terms of Rx+, I have taken the month to refocus on virtuous form during the workouts. I feel like a better athlete because of that focus. Finishing last with good form is way better than finishing first with bad form. I can't imagine never doing Rx+ again. I think that doing Rx+ has a place in my life. It's just not first place anymore.
Watch this video from Barbell Shrugged:
It's about finding joy in your training. It was what got me thinking about making these changes in my life.
What's a pacer? In a foot race, a pacer is a runner who will set the pace for a group of runners who have to the goal of finishing each mile of the race within a certain range of time. So suppose you average an 8:30 mile, you would find a pacer that is assigned to the 8:00-9:00 minute per mile group. As long as you keep up with the pacer, you are mostly guaranteed to meet your goal. Pacers are great for runners who are new to racing or who are doing a long race for the first time. The first time I ran with a pacer, I set a personal record for my 5k time.
When I started Crossfit, I sought out pacers for certain movements and skills. Often Crossfit pacers are people with similar or slightly better skills. You play off each other and push each other to be better. Most of my pacers have been crossfitting for about the same amount of time as me or maybe a little longer. I do have one pacer who is also a coach. Sometimes, she's a pacer, but more often, she is a rabbit. I can't catch her, but her example gives me a goal to shoot for in the long term.
Pacers can come about organically or by design. When preparing for a competition, you need your pacers to keep you motivated and to keep you on track. If you need to get better at a certain skill, your pacers will model that skill for you or at least be there to help you improve by providing constructive feedback. Your pacers will probably also be some of your best friends in the box. You will have each others' backs outside of the box.
But what if, instead of a pacer, you have a yard stick; that person with whom you constantly measure your success against. If your yard stick gets a PR, you must get a PR. If your yard stick goes all out and does the WOD at Rx+, then of course, you have to do Rx+ even if you're not really capable of it. What happens when your yard stick has success at certain lift or skill and you don't? How does that affect your relationship with your yard stick? How does it affect your view of yourself? Is your self-worth dependent on how you perform in relation to your yard stick? Do you see the problem?
Here's the thing. We usually pick our pacers voluntarily and intentionally based on similar abilities and our own level of comfort with our pacer. The flip side is that a pacer can turn into a yard stick subtlety over time unintentionally.
So what do you do? You don't want to risk poisoning the community with toxic yard stick relationships; stalking the whiteboard to find opportunities to one up your yard stick at every turn. Or worse yet, poisoning your own relationship with your yard stick because of your own internal struggles.
Here's the easiest solution: get a new yard stick; YOU. The great thing about Crossfit is that we're always collecting data. You only have to measure up to your potential, not anyone else's potential. So view your growth as your own...and then chart it. Then retest because we love to retest in Crossfit. (Be honest, how many times have you done Fran?) Now, accept this important truth: you only have to be better than the you of yesterday. And some days, you don't even have to do that.
Freeing yourself from having an external yard stick will do wonders for your training. But it'll also help keep the joy alive inside of you and it will help you remember why you walked through the door that very first day.
I love watching Carol Burnett Show reruns and 70s/80s tv shows. Those were the days when tv shows were fake and the only reality tv was the 6 o'clock and 11 o'clock news.
