It's a struggle

I've been feeling this obligation to maintain this new life style, not only for my health, but also for the well-being of other people. I find that people are reacting to me as if I am a new person. Maybe I am in some ways. I do feel a little more confident in my newly baggy jeans. I also feel healthier.

But when I have to get up in the morning and go walk 3 miles, that's where the hard work kicks my butt. Everyday, I'm tired, a good tired, but tired nontheless. That's the part people don't see; the part that I do for me.

Every day is a struggle and there are times when I want to eat everything that is bad for me. I carry around Dr. Ian's book everyday, but I must confess that I read it less and less. I need to go over it again because I desperately feel like I need a week back on phase I. Right now, I'm maintaining my weight, but I want to lose more. I'm still 50 lbs from my goal.

Some days, I want to give up and other days, I'm hard core. I keep hearing the words that I said "It's not that you can't do it, it's that you won't" and that makes me go on. I don't want to become a victim of my own mind.