The Caveman

He's a bit surly and very depressed... but I think I love the caveman...

http://www.cavemanscrib.com

reflections

I had an interesting day today...

I slept well and got started on my day bright and early. But by 8:45, a sadness fell over me. It was overwhelming and a bit annoying. To make matters worse, I was told that I have become fixated on a bad situation.

But 11:00 I figured out what was wrong, outside of having a nearly impossible workload and a toxic working environment. My mood was chemical and I just needed to ride it out. I probably should've just gotten some chocolate.

Here's the deal. I some times lose focus of what's important. I also forget to just ask for help. I try to fix things that are beyond my grasp of control. Right now, for instance, I have projects that I think I can do, that is if I had more time. But I don't have time.

But here's the thing...

None of this matters this weekend. I can't spend this weekend worried about work. I really shouldn't worry about work beyond the end of the work day. I need to learn how to do that.

Cold Fusion

I need to learn Cold Fusion very quickly... like, over this weekend. I have a project to do and no clue how to do it. Now, don't laugh, but I bought Cold Fusion for Dummies and downloaded a tutorial from the Adobe site.

I'm hopeful today...

Check back with me in a few days to see if I still feel this way.

First Snowfall

Today we got our first snow fall and it was beautiful. It wasn't alot, but it was just enough to give my neighborhood that winter wonderland look.

I love the look of snow, the smell of snow, the feel of snow. It's like home.

My Chucks

If you go to www.converse.com, you can design your own chucks.

Here is my design:

HCC Purple

Howard Community College
has gotten into the purple spirit.

Go Ravens!!!

Stuck in my head

I have an idea for a poem stuck in my head... I can't quite pull it together and organize my thoughts. Each day it nags at my soul, desperate to escape the inner most parts of my head.

Sunday Brunch

I hosted a gathering at my apt today... it was a brunch and although it was a lot of work preparing for it, I'm glad I did it. Having the friends over to see the new DVD, Organized to Share the Good News, was really a treat. To see all the work being done by Jehovah's Witnesses really helped me see just how united we are as a people.

This whole day made me think about how I can improve my service to Jehovah. Since I have three months off from school, I can use this time to improve my study habits and field ministry. I really want to do better because as 1 JOHN 5:3 says, " For this is what the love of God means, that we observe his commandments; and yet his commandments are not burdensome,. . ." So doing better is something I can do and should do.

So here's the plan:

I'm going to make some spiritual goals as far as studying for the meetings and for getting out in the ministry. I know I can achieve them, if I just make them a priority.

Weird Dream

I had the weirdest dream last night.

I was at HCC and for the final performance of You're a Good Man, Charlie Brown, Sue, the Director, decided to let a few of the HCC employees join the cast for a couple of songs, sort of like background extras.

We started getting ready for our performance and something catastrophic happened. Within the span of about 5 minutes, we saw 4 planes crash within meters of the Black Box Theatre. It was an eery, apocalyptic feeling because no policeman or fire fighters came... we sat and watched as these planes just burst into flames or in some cases, crashed and skid down the street.

I remember thinking, there's no way to recover from this or even move on. But Sue rallied us together and we resumed preparing for the show. I think that she thought that doing the show would help start the healing process. It was hard because of what we had just seen, but we pulled it together. My sister Tiffany was there with me, so she got to be in the show with me.

Later that day, we went to find our family and we did, but the air in the city was different. We could tell that these events had affected people deeply. It was just as frightening as 9/11. It was a terrible feeling, knowing that so many people just lost their lives for no good reason. The whole world was in fear that this might happen again.

I remember thinking that this was a dream... I tried to wake up and I think that in my dream I woke up to see a swarm of gnats in my bedroom... Then I really woke up and the specter of what I had just dreamt about filled my head. What would I do if this really happened?

I still don't know.

Coding my brains out.

This is my entry for the night...

I'm so tired. I've been working on a project for about three weeks and it's finally coming to an end. It's odd because I've been working on this forever. I don't mean that in the sense of, "man, I've been working on this forever... I'll be glad when it's over". I mean it more like, "this is really pushing my higher brain functions. I feel like I'm really using my critical thinking skills."

It makes me want to learn more and use these skills more... almost. There's a danger in using new skills...if you use them, people will want you to use them again. You become a "go-to" person, which can have it's benefits. But most of the time, they don't.

I guess it's a good thing that I took some time off from school : )