For the past couple of days, Petey has decided that he doesn't want to eat dry food anymore unless there is moist food in the bowl. And even then, he only eats the moist food. For the past two days, I didn't have any moist food so I tried compensate with either mixed veggies or fruit. Petey ate the fruit, but he wouldn't eat anything else.
So today I decided not to put the fruit in the bowl because I've been told by a couple of people that I have to get him back to eating the dry food without any moist food. This way he won't get even more finicky than he has become. So this morning I made him a bowl of food and encouraged him to eat but he wouldn't go near the bowl.
Also this morning I started watching the Cesar Milan DVDs to get a handle on how I should train Petey. I'm learning about being a pack leader and teaching Petey how to be a follower and listen to me. He's basically a good dog, but he generally doesn't sit when I tell him unless I have a treat. He also doesn't stop barking when he sees other dogs.
But here's the thing. I got Petey to eat some of his food. I took a little bit of his food and put it in my hand. Petey thought it was a treat and ate some out of my hand. Every time he ate some food, I put more food in my hand and moved my hand closer to the bowl. Eventually, my hand was in the bowl and then he decided to eat out of the bowl himself. I was very proud of him to get back to eating dry food.
I'm going to try this again later in the day so that he eats the rest of his food.
I don't know why it is so hard to say the things that are deep down inside our hearts. When you are close to someone, it should be easy to tell them exactly how you feel and to articulate it in a coherent way.
I tried it today and am only 40% sure that I managed to say exactly what I meant to say. I didn't say 100% of what I was really feeling and the more I talked, the harder it became to say it. I felt like a babbling idiot.
Well, there you have it. I have a new job. I'm nervous and excited at the same time. I'm going to leave the familiar surroundings of the IT world for the flare and excitement of the arts world.
When I try to put my feelings into perspective, I feel a sense of apprehensive calm. The past month, I have waited in eager expectation of the moment when I would get the call, thinking, of course, that it would be an exciting, overwhelming moment. Oddly enough when I got the call, I could only answer "OK, cool" because my mind was singularly focused on my American Government final exam. The call, while greatly anticipated, came 30 minutes before my final exam and only served to steal away the last precious moments that I needed to study. Don't get me wrong, it was great to get the call. I just didn't anticipate getting it at that moment.
On Sunday, I sent out my goodbye email to my co-workers. I had it carefully planned with a long list of recipients. And then I sent it and it all became all too real to me. I'm really leaving. I am not going to be in IT anymore. The thought fills me with anxiety - not because I feel that I'm losing something. It's more that I have the learn something new and be really good at it in a short period of time. No pressure, right?
Some of the keys to getting through this will be 1) prayer 2) determination 3) balance and 4) breathing.
Listen, To the song here in my heart A melody I've start But can't complete
Listen, to the sound from deep within It's only beginning To find release
Oh, the time has come for my dreams to be heard They will not be pushed aside and turned Into your own all cause you won't Listen....
[Chorus] Listen, I am alone at a crossroads I'm not at home, in my own home And I tried and tried To say whats on my mind You should have known Oh, Now I'm done believing you You don't know what I'm feeling I'm more than what, you made of me I followed the voice you gave to me But now I gotta find, my own..
You should have listened There is someone here inside Someone I'd thought had died So long ago
Oh I'm screaming out, for my dreams to be heard They will not be pushed aside or worse Into your own All cause you won't Listen...
[Chorus]
I don't know where I belong But I'll be moving on If you don't.... If you won't....
LISTEN!!!... To the song here in my heart A melody I've start But I will complete
Oh, Now I'm done believing you You don't know what I'm feeling I'm more than what, you made of me I followed the voice, you think you gave to me But now I gotta find, my own.. my ownn...
Ok, so I was on the couch most of the day. I asleep until 4pm. I got up for a little bit around 11:30am when friend called. But for the most part, I slept my life away.
That is, of course, until I decided to go to the store to get soup. Petey really wanted to go, but I can't take him to Safeway. So I promised him that I would be right back. Well... I guess I took too long because when I got back, I found that he had torn into the bag of snacks and had even eaten part of the paper bag. In addition to that, if that weren't bad enough, he peed on the floor... oh wait, I mean carpet.
I couldn't even be mad about it. I felt more sad, like I had let him down. If I had just taken him out before I went to the store this may not have happened. My mom came home with me and she started cleaning up the urine stain. Tiffany took him outside and I just wanted to cry. When we got back in the house, Petey kept having pre-vomitting convulsions. Every time he just kept burping instead of actually vomitting. He couldn't eat his dinner, but he did keep drinking his water.
Petey has been asleep most of the night. I hope he'll be ok. My mom said that this is what it's like to be a parent.
I was getting out of my car today and saw the ice cream man. You know the song from the ice cream truck? Well today, I get out of the car and I heard the song and started thinking of that christmas song that says, "in excelsis deo". I thought that Mr. Ice Cream Man, it's July!
To continue school or not continue school? That is the question for many high school graduates.
Although college can improve your career opportunities and increase your lifetime earnings, it also takes four years (or more) of your life and a lot of money. Plus, few majors can guarantee a financial return that will offset the financial debt many students will accumulate during college.
It's funny... I think that I've always had dreams about meeting Carol Burnett. In my dreams it's never anything special. It just seemed that I knew her and there wasn't anything special about. I was supposed to know her, like she was family... Aunt Carol.
Then I met her and I went dumb. I could barely utter my name. You can read about the experience in another blog entry. Now, here's the funny thing. Now that I have met Carol, my dreams are exactly the same. I know her and it's not a big deal. She's like Aunt Carol again. But in the latest adventure, Aunt Carol set us (my trustee sidekick Jimmy Fallon and I) on a mission to find and draw out her daughter Erin.
At the outset, I should mention that in my dream, Erin was the same as her real daughter Erin. In my dream, she was teenager who hardly emerged from her bedroom, in part because she was painfully shy and in part because she was a teenager and teenagers just want to be left alone.
As our story begins, Jimmy is receiving an award for a performance in some show and he asks me to come up on stage with him to accept the award. In the front row, we both see Carol and she says that she's brought the family photos Jimmy asked for.
After the awards ceremony, Carol finds us and tells us that she needs some help with her daughter. So we go back to Carol's house and she shows us the door to Erin's room. We go in and find Erin sleeping under a massive white down comforter. Her room doesn't look like the average teenager's room. It's clean and organized. There aren't posters of music groups or movies stars. She wakes up and just sighs when she sees us. She knows why we're there and so she tells us to go away and pulls the comforter back over her head. She's isn't rude, but it is obvious that we aren't the first to invade her personal space.
Jimmy and I leave the room and try to figure out ways to draw her out and get her more involved with people. We decide to go to her school and organize a dance where she can get to know people. We decide to organize a series of mini dances in various classrooms along with a larger one in the cafeteria. Once all the students arrived, we set out looking for Erin. We couldn't find her anywhere. We figured that she just didn't come.
After searching all the rooms, we finally find Erin. She is sitting off to the side in the cafeteria, trying not to be noticed. We look at the stage in the cafeteria and Phoebe Buffet comes out to award the best art project award. She drew a name and it was Erin's name. Erin was thoroughly embarrassed and she reluctantly went on stage to get her award. However, a lady standing near by a slip of paper out of the box of names and discovered that Erin's name was the only name in the box. The crowd got upset and became clear why Erin was reluctant to accept the award. The crowd knew who Erin's mom was and they began saying that the only reason she won the award was because of her mother. Of course, Erin was even more embarassed. Kids can be so cruel.
Then -- I woke up. Stupid alarm clock. I want to finish a dream for once in my life.
So here's the story... I know I've taken too long to tell it.
On Saturday, I drove to Atlantic City to see Carol Burnett. The whole time that I was driving, it wasn't exactly real to me. I had my ticket, I had my hotel reservation, I even had snacks for the 160 mile trip.
It took 4.5 hours because I hit Delaware beach traffic, not once, but three times. But I eventually made it to the hotel room in Pleasantville, just outside of Atlantic City. It wasn't black and white like the movie and I didn't see Tobey Macguire nor Reese Witherspoon. The hotel, The Best Western was AWESOME. It had a full kitchen and a great king size bed.
I arrived around 3pm and got settled in quickly. I grabbed a bite to eat at the Burger King next door and then took a nap. My mom suggested taking a nap so that I would be awake for Carol. I woke up at 5:30, took a shower, and got dressed for the evening. I decided that I would leave at 7pm so that I could walk around the boardwalk a while before the show. At 8pm I went the theatre, the Circus Maximus, which was inside Caesar's Palace. At that point, it still wasn't completely real to me.
Then it happened... the lights went down, the screens came down and the video montage began.
After the montage, Carol emerged from behind the curtain and it finally hit me: I'm in the same room as my childhood hero. I was excited and numb at the same time. Carol was great and funny. She started the show with a tribute to Harvey Korman. He passed away a few weeks ago. He was arguably one of the funniest men on television of all time. I could tell that it was hard, but it was necessary for her to get it out and for us to hear it. I was reading an article afterwards, that it the first time she spoke publicly about his death.
For me, watching Carol on stage was incredible. So many people talked about how she influenced their lives and some people asked questions that I'm sure that Carol is asked all the time. I was sitting next to two guys, Sunny and Dwayne. Dwayne raised his hand and told his story and asked if he could get a hug. Carol told him that he could come backstage after the show.
So during the last few questions of the night, the usher was furiously trying to get Carol's attention so she would call me. Finally, Carol looks over in my direction and I'm the only with an arm raised. Carol looks over and says, "yes ma'am" and points to me. OH BOY, OH BOY, it's my turn, stand up and ask the question... this is what I said to myself. Then out of no where the man in front of me stands up and asks a question. The usher looks at me apologetically and says that she's going to get the mike from him and give it straight to me. OK,OK, it'll be ok...
Then Carol says that it's time to go and the famous closing music starts... I was never so sorry to hear her closing theme song in my life. I didn't get to ask my question :(
After the show and curtain call, Dwayne heads over to the stage to find out where he needs to go to backstage. When we get to security, the guard tells him that he can take one person back with him. He looks at me and Sunny and Sunny tells him to take me backstage with him. I'm forever grateful to Sunny for that because I needed to go backstage to meet Carol. I couldn't envision myself leaving without meeting her.
So we get backstage and for a few minutes, it feels like an eternity... I felt like we were waiting forever. But then Carol emerges and the line starts to move. My turn came and I handed my book to her assistant. After that, Carol tells me to come on over and she gives me a great big hug... well, I hugged her and she hugged me back. All I could say is that I was so happy to finally meet her. I had so much more to tell her, but then she asked me a question: "What is your name?". Once she asked me that, my mind went blank. I could barely get my name out. But I think I played it off well.
I remember taking the picture with her, but it went so fast. I wanted to tell her how much she influenced my life... how my earliest memories are from her watching her show as a child and how watching her show helped me develop my sense of humor. I wanted to tell her that reading her book encouraged me to move through my problems, it helped me through depression as a teenager, and how it gave me the inspiration to write.
Lastly, I wanted to tell her about a passage from the bible that I think epitomizes how many people feel about her. The passage says, "I planted, Apollos watered, but God kept making it grow". In the broadest sense, it talks about how there are things that we do in life that influence people...we plant a seed. The person may or may not decided to act on that seed, sometimes we never know and sometimes, people will come from all around to tell you just how much of an impact you had on them. Saturday was just such a night. Carol got to see first hand the amazing growth of the seedlings she has planted throughout the years. We all had benefitted from her activities in some way or another and we all gave her back that love on Saturday.
Carol sets a good example for all of us. She uses her life to help others and entertain us. I loved being there and loved meeting her even more.
Laughter and Reflection with Carol Burnett Caesars Atlantic City, Atlantic City, NJ Sat, Jun 21, 2008 09:00 PM This is a non-televised event. This is a lecture, question and answer event. "LAUGHTER AND REFLECTION WITH CAROL BURNETT" A Conversation with Carol where the Audience asks the Questions.
I've decided that Facebook isn't the complete and total nuisance that I made it out to be all along. On Friday, thanks to the new chat feature in Facebook, I was able to reconnect two people I haven't talked to since I was a child. One friend was a childhood friend and neighbor from elementary school, the other a Friend from middle school and high school. Each have led interesting lives that have taken them to new places.
These are the moments when I envy this generation of teenagers who grew up with instant messenger and email. They will have an easier time maintaining friendships with people after graduation. The internet has really changed the fabric of our society.
Jesus' advice about dealing with anxiety. Matthew 6:25-33
25 “On this account I say to YOU: Stop being anxious about YOUR souls as to what YOU will eat or what YOU will drink, or about YOUR bodies as to what YOU will wear. Does not the soul mean more than food and the body than clothing? 26 Observe intently the birds of heaven, because they do not sow seed or reap or gather into storehouses; still YOUR heavenly Father feeds them. Are YOU not worth more than they are? 27 Who of YOU by being anxious can add one cubit to his life span? 28 Also, on the matter of clothing, why are YOU anxious? Take a lesson from the lilies of the field, how they are growing; they do not toil, nor do they spin; 29 but I say to YOU that not even Sol´o·mon in all his glory was arrayed as one of these. 30 If, now, God thus clothes the vegetation of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the oven, will he not much rather clothe YOU, YOU with little faith? 31 So never be anxious and say, ‘What are we to eat?’ or, ‘What are we to drink?’ or, ‘What are we to put on?’ 32 For all these are the things the nations are eagerly pursuing. For YOUR heavenly Father knows YOU need all these things.
33 “Keep on, then, seeking first the kingdom and his righteousness, and all these [other] things will be added to YOU. 34 So, never be anxious about the next day, for the next day will have its own anxieties. Sufficient for each day is its own badness.
I love watching Carol Burnett Show reruns and 70s/80s tv shows. Those were the days when tv shows were fake and the only reality tv was the 6 o'clock and 11 o'clock news.
