Friends

When I think about the people that I have in my life today, they are much different than the people who were in my life, 10, 15 and 20 years ago. I can't tell you who was my best friend when I was 13 years old. I don't think I had one. Oh yeah, there was Jasen. He was my only friend in the 7th grade. I don't know why he was my friend... I treated him like trash. The older me knows this now.

When I was 18, my best friend was my bible study teacher. She taught me about Jehovah and the bible. She was only about three years older than me, but she treated me like an equal. She gave me good advice. Her name was Dania. I wish we had kept in touch.

Today... well, I'm done giving people labels. One thing that I've learned over the years is that no relationship is ever exclusive. You can label someone your best friend, but that doesn't mean that they feel the same way about you. They may not feel as sure about your relationship as you do. This used to bother me a lot and I'll admit that it still does. But I really can't hold that against anyone. I love hard and strong. When you have me as a friend you get me 100%. I don't let too many people in behind the wall, so if you get in, you get all of me. Not everyone can give that much of themselves and I am slowly coming to accept that.

But I wonder if the people that are in my close circle of friends now are the kind of people that I would've been friends with them in the past. I've been told that I was a brat when I was little, so I really don't know. I do know that I'm glad to have the friends that I have.