No means no

When my doctor said to lay off the caffeine, I supposed I should've really listened to him. I had a migraine for a month and he told me that caffeine can trigger migraines. So I tried to give up coffee. I was good for a while...that is until today.

After an insane staff meeting, I needed something to help me calm down. So, of course, the most calming thing to drink is a lovely espresso drink called Caramel Macchiato. It's a super soothing drink. Needless to say, my body was not ready for that amount of caffeine and I proceeded to have an anxiety attack which culminated with me crying at my desk while working on server logs. Thank goodness my friend Gina called or I'd still be sitting there bawling about who-knows-what.

This evening (oh you'll love this) I decided not to go to aquafit. I just wasn't in the right frame of mind. I thought, "I know, I'll go home and take a nap...Yeah that'll help." What kind of non-functioning brain decides that a nap would end an anxiety attack?

Anyway, I went home, got in bed and actually thought that I would go to sleep. Nevermind the fact that my mind is swirling with all kinds of crazy thoughts and I'm still about two minutes from crying. But there I was actually thinking that I was going to go to sleep. I set my alarm on my cellphone and laid there for 30 minutes. I don't know if this is possible, but it seemed as though I felt each minute pass by. I was aware of every single noise in my apt and all of the ajoining ones for that matter.

I got up at 6:15 because I had to get ready to go to bible study. My mother called and I told her that I was in the middle of an anxiety attack and that, yes, I was still going to the book study. I assured her that I wouldn't cry or become emotional during the study. She told me to try to keep it under control and not get too emotionally involved in the material. I did manage to keep it together, but there were moments that... I don't know... I felt myself slipping. Thankfully, I was able to catch myself.

Although when I accidentally referred to West Germany as "the west side", I almost cracked myself up... and the person sitting next to me actually said "WEST SAYID!!" I thought I going to pee my pants from laughing. By the way kiddies, it's not good to laugh out loud at bible study. Just a note to save you from getting in trouble.

So the lesson here... When you doctor says no caffeine, he means it!