Anxiety

It feels like a caffeine buzz...
that nervous, unsettled feeling in the pit of my stomach
when I feel like I can't stop moving because if I do
the world might end.

I hold back tears because I'm afraid to let the feelings go.
Even though they hurt me, feeling something is better than feeling nothing at all.
That's what I tell myself.
I am a liar.

I listen to songs that speak of unrealized love
and wonder, could this be me?
Should I call or be silent?
In silence, there is no rejection.
But the pain that I wish to avoid follows me where ever I go
as long as I keep silent.
I hate silence.

I want to hear the sounds of laughter and love in the wind and the trees.
The happiness that comes with dreams fulfilled is my goal.
I want it.
I will have it.