Nothing's ever truly black or white

A new reality series started last night called Black White and I have to say that watching the interaction between the black family and the white family greatly disturbed me. The premise of the show is that a black family and a white family move into a house together, exchange races, and see what it is like to live as a different race. This social experiment is similar to John Howard Griffin's experiment of a white man moving to the south in 1959, changing his skin color from white to black to experience racism first hand. His story is chronicled in his book Black Like Me.

While I was intrigued by the possibility of seeing this experiment play out, while I was actually watching it, I felt an array of emotions that ran the gamut of amusement to shock to horror. It seems like no one is really taking this thing seriously or really understands what they've gotten themselves into. The black family feels that they will have no problem passing because typically black are made to fit into the "white" culture on a daily basis. The white famiy's approach was almost like they were going on a field trip. The mother proclaimed that her parents helped with the civil rights movement and that she has no problem with any one of any race and that she thinks this would be a great opportunity to get an inside look at what it's like to be black.

I have to honestly say that what she said sounded noble, but some how the way she said seem to me that she had no clue what she was up against. I kept envisioning the episode of Good Times when Michael makes plans to move into an apt near his college with a white girl. He has to defend his choice to his mother and convince her they are not involver romantically. Florida's concern is lessened when Cindy's parents show up and proclaim that they are fine with Michael living with "a black" since his vast experience in a "real ghetto" equipped him to fight off intruders. They used phrases like "right on mama" and "joving" instead of "jiving". It was all so condescending and humiliating that Michael decides that he can't live with Cindy since her parents only like him because of his skin color.

The white parents reminded me of Cindy's parents in the beginning because they tried to use the slang that they considered black. It was awful because it re-affirmed something that I already felt; white people think that all black people use slang. Now I say that and of course, I made a generalization about an entire race that was just as bad as the one I'm putting down. I know that all white don't think that, so don't email me or call me and fuss. But I will say this, I have been in that situation where a white person tried use some slang on me and it was a very uncomfortable situation because I didn't respond in the way he expected. Take a mental note, white people, don't walk up to a black women and say, "hey girlfriend!", especially if you are a middle-aged white man. It's like nails on a chalkboard for me.

Now it seems as though I've picked on only the white family. But the black family has some issues as well. The son, who signed his family up for this show, so far, isn't really putting that much effort into it. The other thing that bothers me, and maybe this will be addressed in upcoming episodes, but the black family is listening to white people including their house mate say things that are biased and they won't say anything. The white father said n**ga about five or six times and no one said a word.

I think that I may continue to watch the show mostly because it has served as a starting point for conversations with a white friend of mine. We have been friends for a while and view each other more as human beings than as black and white. Both of us were raised in multi-cultural communities so the idea of being racist is difficult for both of us. Yet, we are different and there are things that we were both taught about the opposite race, either directly or indirectly.

I am carefully though. It sounds silly, but in some cases I feel like overtalking racism may actually feed into it. I think that we spend so much time trying to deal with each other as races, that we forget that we are human beings. As a member of my job's diversity committeee we talke about how we can become better diverse people. The problem is that we live in a broken and divided world, designed to exploit our differences and keep the problems between races going. That's why it's so important to hold on to these scriptures:
Matthew 22:37-40
37 He said to him: “‘You must love Jehovah your God with your whole heart and with your whole soul and with your whole mind.’ 38 This is the greatest and first commandment. 39 The second, like it, is this, ‘You must love your neighbor as yourself.’ 40 On these two commandments the whole Law hangs, and the Prophets.”

Some people might think that these words are more idealistic that is possible, but I really believe that each of us benefits from the application of these scriptures. Now I'm not so naive to think that everyone will apply these scriptures. I know they won't and as long as we live in an imperfect world, there will always be racism. It may not take the form of cloaked men burning crosses on black people's lawns. But it will continue to infiltrate people's lives in ways they never thought possible. The people who should worry the most are people who don't have much contact with other races, but who believe that they don't have kinds of bias towards anyone.