Happy Friday

It'$ Friday and it'$ pay day. What more could you a$k for?

Here'$ $ome pay day $lang fo yo ear, homie!

• Hey, it'$ all about the benjamin$, baby!



• Get dat paper!



• Dolla Dolla bill$ y'all!

Hopeless Romantic

I was told that I'm a hopeless romantic today, so...


**In my best Dean Martin voice**

When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, that's amore !!!

:)-

You think you know, but you have no idea

I made a Quiz for You on QuizYourFriends.com
CLICK on the link below or PASTE it into your browser.http://www.quizyourfriends.com/yourquiz.php?quizname=050714141858-806247

Email

-----Original Message-----

From: Julie Jones
Sent: Wednesday, July 13, 2005 9:30 AM
To: M.
Subject: My dream

Dear M.,
What does it mean when you dream that you get drunk at work on raspberry wine and the Human Resources folks come and get you out of the hallway so that the kids on campus kids don't see you?
Julie


****M's Reply****

From : M.
Sent : Wednesday, July 13, 2005 10:37 AM
To : "'Julie Jones'"
Subject : RE: My dream

A couple of possibilities:
1. It means you have to stop eating pepperoni pizza before going to sleep :)
2. It means you need a vacation baaaaad if you're mentally drinking on the job
3. It means part of you is taking Communion at work in an effort to keep "thou shalt not kill (S.L.) at the front of your thoughts
4. It means nothing :)

M.

A fine line

Yesterday, I took a huge chance. I shared a very private part of myself and my feelings were accepted.

So much has happened in the past year and it has made me doubt the decisions that I have made. It's clear to me that I exist in a dangerous place. Part of my world exits to fill my rice bowl. The other part exists to fill my spirit and encourage me. It's hard to find the safe intersection at times.

"No one can slave for two masters; for either he will hate the one and love the other, or he will stick to the one and despise the other." - Matthew 6:24

This scripture stays with me all the time. In its practical application, it refers to not leading a double life. You can't lead a life and put on the air of living by godly principles when around one group of people and then act completely contrary in another crowd of people. However, the reason why I keep thinking of this scripture doesn't have anything to do with living a double life.

It's hard to have relationships with people on both sides of the battle field. I feel for Switzerland. I don't know how they maintain their neutrality. I can stay neutral in certain areas. I can keep 45% of my life over here and 45% over there. It's the other 10% that is hard to balance. And some days, it's just harder to take than other days.

So I continue to pray for peace...peace in the 10%.

*sigh*

The pool is closed until September...What am I going to do?

Celebrity Fit Club 2

Celebrity Fit Club is one of the only reality shows I can watch and not get totally disgusted. I'm going to watch this and really tried to pick up some tips on health and weight management.

I weighed myself today and wasn't happy at all. So I have to step it up a bit. I have a couple of dvds that I need to be doing everyday. So that's what I'm going to do.

My side hurts from laughing so hard

This was the funny thing I have seen in a long time.

What is the most awesomely bad break-up song ever? The one that makes you cringe when you hear it, but you just can't turn it off. What break-up song makes you shake your head, roll your eyes, laugh, gag, shed a tear, or just punch something because it's so horrendously great. that you love to hate it. Or is it vice versa? VH1 is counting down the 40 Most Awesomely Bad Break-Up Songs....Ever in a 2-hour special, that will cover the highest of the lows and the lowest of the highs over the history of awesomely bad break up songs - you know, the kind of songs that make breaking up even harder to do. The kind of songs that make you want to break a lot more than just an unwanted heart. The kind of songs that, well...you get the drift.

Join us as we count down and celebrate fantastically cheesy lyrics, the best and worst metaphors, awkward and confusing themes, and of course, those strange, misguided flukes from our favorite artists, while our team of experts help explain why we've deemed these songs so (un)worthy. We've been covering our ears, shutting off the radio, and running from the room screaming for too long. It's time to ban these songs to our awesomely bad Hall of F(Sh)ame!

You have to see this!

Hurricane Dennis

Tourists throughout the Florida Keys were ordered to evacuate, as were all mobile home residents — and all southernmost residents of the island chain. A hurricane warning was issued for the lower Keys.
Lines of cars were seen streaming out of the island chain Thursday. Airlines reported that nearly all flights out of Key West were full, and Greyhound added buses to help get residents out of the area.


http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/8487520/page/3/

I have friends who were heading for the Florida Keys today. I can't say that I'm disappointed that the Keys were evacuated. They turned around and went to Fort Lauderdale. From the news reports, it looks like Hurricane Dennis is going to be pretty powerful; a category 4 hurricane.

It's good that the government officials learned from last year's hurricane season and have started appropriate evacuation procedures. It's interesting that among all the people they're evacuating, "There were no immediate plans to evacuate prisoners or troops from the U.S. detention center's Camp Delta at Guantanamo Bay, on Cuba's extreme southeast end, Gen. Jay Hood said in an interview." So basically, the prisoners don't really matter... oh well.

My personal best

Hello dears,
Today I hit a personal best. I made 71 web pages in 6 hours. I'm not sure how I did it, but when I left from work, I was extremely tired. I left at 4pm and was asleep by 4:15.

My Confession

Ok, I admit it.









I love watching Rachel Ray on Food TV. Her show, 30-minutes meals and $40 a day are so informative and they make you feel you can make great meals too. Every time I watch her show, I try to make whatever meal she's just made.

So if you want to get me a present, I would love any of Rachel's books. Believe me, I won't be too shy to accept those as gifts :)

Today's Rachel meal: Warm Corn and Tomato Salad.

I want to try: Devilish Chili-Cheese Dogs

My baby's clean

We washed my car today, inside and outside. I also did some laundry and took a nap.

Yeah, my day was pretty full.


Don't be jealous.

Luther Vandross (1951 - 2005)

Arguably, one of the best entertainers of the past century passed away today. I really loved Luther's music. It was always warm and romantic. It made me think that true love was possible.

In a time when booty calls and teenage angst rule the air waves, it's still nice to know that you can put on a Luther CD and get good old fashion love songs. Songs with a heart, sung by a man with an even bigger heart.

Luther made every woman feel like he was singing to her and every man wish he was as smooth.

We'll miss you Luther.

Disaster on a stick

Updated: 5:25 p.m. ET June 22, 2005
NEW YORK - An attempt to erect the world’s largest popsicle in a city square ended with a scene straight out of a disaster film — but much stickier.

The 25-foot-tall, 17½-ton treat of frozen Snapple juice melted faster than expected Tuesday, flooding Union Square in downtown Manhattan with kiwi-strawberry-flavored fluid that sent pedestrians scurrying for higher ground.



Firefighters closed off several streets and used hoses to wash away the sugary goo.

Snapple had been trying to promote a new line of frozen treats by setting a record for the world’s largest popsicle, but called off the stunt before it was pulled fully upright by a construction crane. Authorities said they were worried the thing would collapse in the 80-degree, first-day-of-summer heat.

“What was unsettling was that the fluid just kept coming,” Stuart Claxton of the Guinness Book of World Records told the Daily News. “It was quite a lot of fluid. On a hot day like this, you have to move fast.”

Snapple official Lauren Radcliffe said the company was unlikely to make a second attempt to break the record, set by a 21-foot ice pop in Holland in 1997.

The giant ice pop was supposed to have been able to withstand the heat for some time, and organizers weren’t sure why it didn’t. It had been made in Edison, N.J., and hauled to New York by freezer truck in the morning.

© 2005 The Associated Press. All rights reserved. This material may not be published, broadcast, rewritten or redistributed.

Reality Check

A paradox

Flintstones, meet the Flintstones
They're a modern stone-age family
from the town of bedrock
they're a page right out of history
lets ride with the family down the street
through the courtesy of Fred's two feet
When you're with the Flintstones
have a yabba dabba do-time
a dabba do-time
You'll have a gay old time.

So how could they be modern and stone age at the same time?

Home sick

In Mexico, I had a good time.

I wish I could go back.

Maybe one day...

Nothing's changed

So much for never makin' the same mistake.
I can't believe I'm here again.
So much for ever thinkin' that I could change
My good intentions still remain in chains.

She's Gotta Be
by Keith Urban.
Written by Monty Powell and Keith Urban.
© Coburn Music Inc /Guitar Monkey Music
From "Be Here", © 2004, Capitol.

Sometimes I go to the weight room and work out on the treadmill. It's a good workout, but the treadmill tells you a story that isn't true. See for me, after about 33 minutes, if I'm walking 3 mph, the treadmill tells me that I've walked 2 miles when in fact I haven't left the building. Now, truth be told, I have done the work required to walk 2 miles, but I'm still in the same place where I started.

In life, people can be just like that treadmill. They put you through the motions of thinking you're making progress only for you to discover that you're right back where you started. Despite your good intentions you never left the room.

Being Gilmore

ABC Family often runs marathons of their TV shows. Yesterday they showed a Gilmore Girls marathon. I watched, I believe, four hours of the Gilmore Girls yesterday and had a good old time.

So last night, of course, I dreamt of being on the Gilmore Girls. It was very much like a Quantum Leap experience in that I was not myself, I was Alexis Bledel (Rory), but when I looked in the mirror, I saw me. And if that weren't enough, I wasn't in the town of Stars Hollow; I was on a set in Hollywood. I was the actress playing the part of Rory.

So the episode we were doing revolved around Rory and Lorelai move into a new place and them helping one of Rory's friends transition to college. Rory's friend, whose name I don't remember, she was preparing to go to college and she really wanted to move into her own apartment. Lorelai and I (Rory) told her mom about all the great things about living away from home; about how independent and self-reliant a person becomes. So the girl's mom was really resistant, but in the end I think she let her daughter go live in the dorms. Meanwhile, I was really looking forward to going back to school myself and living in an apartment for the first time. Lorelai turns the tables on me and tells me that I have to live at home this semester which really bummed me out because we had just gone through this big ordeal to get my friend into the dorm and now she's saying that I have to live at home.

At this point the director must have yelled cut and ended the scene, although I don't remember that happening. I went into a dressing room to talk to Lauren Graham, who plays Lorelai, to tell her that I would miss her over the summer hiatus and that I really enjoyed playing her daughter. She seemed very confused by my behavior. I think at that point, I knew that I would quantum leap out of Alexis soon and so I wanted to let Lauren know how good a friend she had been.

I said a last goodbye to Scott, one of the crew guys, who is also a tech in my department in real life. Then I woke up. It was late. I like to be at work at 8 am and it was 7:45 am. I would never make it in time. But I didn't really care.

I was a Gilmore Girl :)

Adventures in babysitting

I think at some point, I may have said that I want children. After today, I'm not so sure. I've even entertained the idea of having twins... as if I had a choice. But after babysitting my sister and my neice alone today, I'm not so sure that parenthood is for me...at least not without help.

Today was hard and now I'm really tired.

I don't know how moms do it everyday.

Larry Elder

Now, I know I've said in the past that I don't like the Larry Elder Show. So I'm not sure why the other day, I didn't run to turn the channel when it came on. Here's what the topic was:

WEDNESDAY, June 22nd
“Working Moms vs. Stay-At-Home Moms”

Larry talks to advocates on both sides of the stay-at-home versus working mom debate, including a stay-at-home mom who pinches pennies so she can afford to be home with her kids, a working mom who communicates with her kids via cell phone, and a couple who has chosen to remain childless altogether.

Here's my problem. Larry had, from what I saw, married moms only and these women were so polarized about their opinions. There was absolutely no middle ground for either side, which disturbs me. Stay at home moms said that working moms were selfish and working moms defended their right to work. There was even one stay at home mom who went to college and said that she wants her daughters to go to college and then be stay at home moms and not work outside the home.

To have a balanced conversation, Larry should've included singles moms. Each side said that the other side was doing harm to their child be either staying home or going to work. But in reality, moms do the best they can for their kids. Some moms, like my mom have to work in order to take care of the family. My mom, a single parent has no choice but to work outside of the home. But she has chosen to take lesser paying jobs with more flexibility so that she can be home when my siblings get home from school. Also, she makes sure that she is emotionally available for her children. That's what every mom should do regardless of whether they work outside the home or inside. That's what she did for me when I was little and had to work fulltime.

What kills me is that Larry Elder always shows the most extreme of circumstances on his show. They he turns around and says his old mantra, "It's all about personal responsibility". And in a way he's right. Moms who work outside the home should make sure that they provide not only materially for their kids, but emotionally as well. The same thing goes for moms who stay at home. Sometimes they cannot provide as much materially, but children need that emotional availability from them as well.

From looking at my family who has been in both situations, I think that what my mom hasn't been able to give to us materially is far outweighed by the emotional and spiritual support she's given us. These things will last us far longer than any material thing she can ever give us. She's given us a balanced life and for that I'll be forever grateful.

Essay

Today I discovered that in addition to filling out the UMUC Financial Aid Data Form and the FAFSA, I have to submit a scholarship application in order to be considered for any of UMUC's scholarships. You would think that this application would be attached to the Financial Aid Data Form, that way, they get all your information including the color of your underwear.

I finally find the form and begin reading through the information. It asks the typical questions; name, student ID number, email address, major and you're asked to select all the characteristics that apply to you.

After that, they say:

(Only one essay is required for consideration by all scholarship
programs.) In the box below, briefly explain your reasons for submitting this
application. Be sure to write your name and Social Security number on each page.
Discuss these five topics:

1. Your eligibility for each program selected for consideration
2. Your personal circumstances related to your financial need for a scholarship
3. Your academic and career goals
4. Your current employment and its relationship to your future plans
5. Your leadership roles and community involvement

Please be concise. You may also include any other information that you feel is pertinent to your application. You may attach only one additional page. Finally, the style and content of your personal statement will be considered when the nominating committee reviews your application. For assistance in writing your essay, please refer to UMUC's online Guide to Writing and Research. Good luck!

I read this list of requirements and cringed at the thought of having to write something about myself. You'd think I'd be used to doing that given the fact that I blog on a daily basis. Alas, I immediately started thinking of ways to get out of writing this essay. I even asked a friend to write it for me. She said no, but said that she would proof whatever I write.

The funniest thing about this whole essay thing is that I keep hearing Anthony Michael Hall reciting the following from the Breakfast Club:

The Breakfast Club: Dear Mr. Vernon, we accept the fact that we had to sacrifice a whole saturday in detention for whatever it is we did wrong, but we think you're crazy for making us write an essay telling you who we think we are. You see us as you want to see us, in the simplest terms, in the most convenient definitions. But what we found out, is that each one of us is a brain, and an athlete, and a basketcase, a princess, and a criminal. Does that answer your question? Sincerely yours, The Breakfast Club.

Adda Girl!

It's so nice to have a helpful advisor for school. My advisor at UMUC has been working overtime for me and I really appreciate it. It's been so long since I had to start the process of going to school that I had forgotten all that is involved.

Kristin, my advisor, has helped me through all the steps and even though I've had tons of problems, she's always done everything with great customer service. I can almost imagine her smiling the whole time.

The funny thing is that I've never met Kristin in person. She's my online advisor at my online school. She does exist, as does my school, but it's truly weird to have an advisor that you never meet. I've experienced great online support in the past and still keep in touch with that person. Could I be so blessed as to have two great online helpers in one lifetime?

Kristin has made sure that I've done everything I have to to get prepared for the Fall. I think I'll be good to go with Kristin as my advisor.


My advisor rocks!

I'm glad today is over

Today was a day that I knew would be filled with problems. I talked to a frantic person last night who said that she couldn't see our website. I wasn't sure what to do, but I told her that we'd look into it. Little did I know in making that promise, I'd be in for a whole day of "why is this broken? Did we try this?"; all questions for which I had no answer.

It's these kind of situations that I don't like. I'm a fixer... I like to fix things, problems. I can't wait until I finish school and have a ton more technical skill.

I'm not fooling myself though, I know I won't ever have all the answers... It would be nice to have some of them though ;)

Getting Ready

My transcript evaluation is complete. They took 68 credits and I have 52 to get my bachelor's degree. I'm still very apprehensive about this decision, mostly because I know me. I can only multi-task to a point.

A friend of mine always says that if a woman tells you that she's doing nothing, she's really doing at least one thing.

That's me, the multi-task queen... unfortunately, something always suffers when I multitask. That's something I'm going to have to get a handle on before September. For me, it's usually my spiritual studies that suffer. I want to make sure that I keep up my personal spiritual studies while I'm in school. I've seen others try to do it and really struggle. I don't want to fall into the trap that will inevitably be placed in front of me.

Ultimately, I want to be a better christian more than a college graduate. I guess that's why I didn't take this step any earlier than now. But I'm going to give this a go and get a concrete routine going so that I can get through the next two to three years of my life relatively unscathed.

I know that it shouldn't sound so daunting... but believe me, it is.

Summertime

I've always loved this song... It has a great vibe... It makes me happy :)


Intro/Chorus: *sung*

summer, summer, summertime
time to sit back and unwind

Verse One: Fresh Prince

Here it is the groove slightly transformed
just a bit of a break from the norm
just a little somethin' to break the monotony
of all that hardcore dance that has gotten to be
a little bit out of control it's cool to dance
but what about the groove that soothes that moves romance
give me a soft subtle mix
and if ain't broke then don't try to fix it
and think of the summers of the past
adjust the base and let the alpine blast
pop in my CD and let me run a rhyme
and put your car on cruise and lay back cause this is summertime

Chorus

Verse Two: Fresh Prince

school is out and it's a sort of a buzz
a back then I didn't really know what it was
but now I see what have of this
the way that people respond to summer madness
the weather is hot and girls are dressing less
and checking out the fellas to tell 'em who's best
riding around in your jeep or your benzos
or in your Nissan stting on lorenzos
back in Philly we be ou in the park
a place called the plateau is where everybody goes
guys out hunting and girls doing likewise
honking at the honey in front of you with the light eyes
she turn around to see what you beeping at
it's like the summers a natural afradesiac
and with a pen and pad I compose this rhyme
to hit you and get you equipped for the summer time

Chorus

Verse Three: Fresh Prince

it's late in the day and I ain't been on the court yet
hustle to the mall to get me a short set
yeah I got on sneaks but I need a new pair
cause basketball courts in the summer got girls there
the temperature's about 88
hop in the water plug just for old times sake
break to ya crib change your clothes once more
cause you're invited to a barbeque that's starting at 4
sitting with your friends cause y'all remincise
about the days growing up and the first person you kiss
and as I think back makes me wonder how
the smell from a grill could spark up nostalgia
all the kids playing out front
little boys messin round with the girls playing double-dutch
while the DJ's spinning a tune as the old folks dance at your family reunion
then six o'clock rolls around
you just finished wiping your car down
it's time to cruise so you head to the summertime hangout
it looks like a car show
everybody come lookin real fine
fresh from the barber shop or fly from the beauty salon
every moment frontin and maxin
chillin in the car they spent all day waxin
leanin to the side but you can't spead through
Two miles an hour so everybody sees you
there's an air of love and of happiness
and this is the Fresh Prince's new defintion of summer madness

Chorus
by DJ Jazzy Jeff and the Fresh Prince (Will Smith)

Dells everywhere

We got a ton of computers in today; 136 boxes altogether.

I also went to Aquafit after work.

So needless to say, I'm sore.

Happy Wednesday!

Today was a good day. I exercised after skipping two days, did my laundry, and put together a webpage about my family.

Here lately, I've been feeling more useful at work. I have been doing more and contributing more to the group. It's a good feeling.

There is still one thing left to do... Some loose ends that need to be tied up...

Time to fly on my own

Sometimes, it's good to venture out on your own. Not having a crutch can help you see how capable you are.

I'm going to give it a go. It's time to see what I'm made of.

End of the Fiscal Year

I'm feeling productive here lately. I'm not getting my main project done, but I've been getting lots done. This fiscal year has been hard... well not so much hard, but busy. We were tasked with so much to do this year, it was impossible to get it all done. When your job is dependent on other people getting their information to you, it can really make doing your job hard.

This year seemed like a series of stops and starts. I would start on a project and then stop because the department I worked with got busy with other things. Having said that, I think that I've done my best work this year. It was a bumpy road, filled with speed bumps and the occasional sink hole.

This year, though filled with bumps and bruises, did provide me with a cleared vision of what I want for myself. I am more cautious about the people I have in my life and who's vision of myself I'll accept. Before, I took in everyone's opinion of me and tried to make other people happy. Now, I'm finally in a place where I know what I want and I'm happy with my own goals.

'Stop giving me a hard time about being single'

If you're single, chances are you've been asked the following three questions:

Why aren't you married?
Why aren't you married?
and the very, very popular:
Why aren't you married?
... give or take another 999,999,997 more such questions.

Unfortunately, I can’t fix you up with any cute guys or girls to help you avoid these questions in the future. However, I can fix you up with some good snappy comebacks to fling at anyone who dares to question your single status.

So, next time somebody dares to ask you that “Why aren't you married?” question, pause, smile sagaciously (I love that word; it means “wisely”), and offer up one of the following. Or, just review them for your own personal satisfaction.

1. In the beginning, there were no elliptical trainers or low-fat/high-fiber muffins, and so people lived to only about 40-something. Maximum. Meaning, the pressure was on to get married before age 25. However, today, thanks to medical advances, we can all hope to live to 80. Easy. Meaning? Even if we marry at age 40, that's still 35, 45, even 55 years to be with a mate. Plenty of time to be married. What's the hurry?

2. Married people are not necessarily better catches simply because they were caught. I mean, have you taken a look at some of the married people out there? Seriously. Even Frankenstein got married. Obviously married people are not superior people.

3. Meanwhile, look at some of our cool single role models:
Catwoman: Single.
Buddha: Single.
The Lone Ranger: Single.
Actually, virtually all superhero types are single: Superman, Wonder Woman, Dudley Do-Right. And then there’s The Ultimate Superhero: God—also single.

4. Plus, when you think about it, there’s no such thing as a Stepford Single Woman.

5. Why limit myself to being dissatisfied by one relationship when I can be dissatisfied by an infinite variety?

6. It’s interesting how our culture has the expression “happily married,” but no expression “happily single.” And those words are 100% certified by the US Census Bureau. Statistics show that although married men are reported to be happier than single men (surprise, surprise!)—single women are reported to be happier than married women (also a big surprise, surprise!). Meaning? This only furthers the irony that single women are branded as "unhappy” and “lonely” and “loser-esque"—when single women are just boldly holding out for the right situation, rather than getting married just to get married.

7. It's easy to become married. Millions of people do it every year. If you want to pressure me to become something, hey, why not pick something a little more challenging—like an astrophysicist.

8. True love is rare. That's why it's called "love" and not "really like" or "settling." And why we don't say: "I’m settling for you, honey" over candlelit dinners. True love is worth waiting for…and that’s what I’m doing.

Karen Salmansohn is a life coach and the best-selling author of 27 books. Visit her at www.notsalmon.com. Adapted from Even God Is Single: So Stop Giving Me A Hard Time, copyright 2000 by Karen Salmansohn. Used by permission of Workman Publishing Co., Inc., New York. All rights reserved.

It's hot out

You really need to be careful when it's hot out. I was out running errands today and now I have a headache. I didn't get enough to drink during the day and now I think I'm under-hydrated. I don't feel dehydrated, but my head has been hurting.

So if you have to go out, bring some water and keep hydrated.

Hard Work

Today I did a lot of work.

All week, I've been feeling unproductive. I moved into a new cube this week and even though it's a great new space (more space and more privacy), it has been hard to get used to it.

But today...

Whoa man...

Being the web nazi, I mean, web services assistant, I don't normally do desktop installations. My work pretty much keeps me from traveling the campus. Today, though, I installed about 14 monitors in various offices. It was hard work, but I really felt like I was productive.

I'm going to be so sore tomorrow :(

Tired

I worked out today and now I'm really tired.

I got my transcript evaluation today and it looks like I might be able to finish my bachelor's in about 3 years.

I want to go into in more detail.... but... (yawn)... I'm too tired.

Goodnight Ms. Sullivan

I sure am going to miss Anne Bancroft. She was one of my favorite actresses. Her roles were always so strong and forceful. Her characters never took any stuff off of anyone.

They said that most actors draw on their own experiences. So one has to believe that Anne Bancroft was strong and forceful in her own life.

From Yahoo News
Mike Nichols, who directed "The Graduate," called Bancroft a masterful performer.

"Her combination of brains, humor, frankness and sense were unlike any other artist," Nichols said in a statement. "Her beauty was constantly shifting with her roles, and because she was a consummate actress she changed radically for every part."

By DINO HAZELL, Associated Press Writer

Among the movies I loved of Anne Bancroft's, Keeping the Faith, Deep in My Heart, Homecoming , Home for the Holidays , 84 Charing Cross Road, 'Night, Mother, The Graduate and my all time favorite The Miracle Worker. The Miracle Worker is a movie that I can watch over and over again and never get tired of it. Anne Bancroft and Patty Duke both won Oscars for their performances. Anne Bancroft's Annie Sullivan gave me a whole new respect for teachers. They give and give of themselves every day and receive very little in return.

Anne Bancroft's performance was so powerful. She made many powerful performances throughout her career. We have lost a huge talent. Anne will be sorely missed.

Don't Quit

DON'T QUIT
by Edgar A. Guest

When things go wrong, as they sometimes will,
when the road you're trudging seems all uphill,
when the funds are low and the debts are high,
and you want to smile but you have to sigh,
when care is pressing you down a bit - rest if you must,
but don't you quit.

Life is queer with its twists and turns.
As everyone of us sometimes learns.
And many a fellow turns about when he might have won had he stuck it out.
Don't give up though the pace seems slow - you may succeed with another blow.

Often the goal is nearer than it seems to a faint and faltering man;
often the struggler has given up when he might have captured the victor's cup;
and he learned too late when the night came down,
how close he was to the golden crown.

Success is failure turned inside out - the silver tint of the clouds of doubt,
and when you never can tell how close you are,
it may be near when it seems afar;
so stick to the fight when you're hardest hit - it's when things seem worst,
you must not quit.

The Tony awards

It's so funny to me that I don't get to see Broadway shows that often, but I'm always excited to see the Tonys.

Here are the winners

I've decided that I want to see The 25th Annual Putnam County Spelling Bee the next time I go to New York.

Caller ID

I finally ordered Caller ID today. I didn't want it originally because I didn't want to spend the extra money. But here lately, I've been getting telemarketing calls. Today I got a call about sending $50 to the American Indian reservations in the Dakotas.

Enough is enough.

Mera-speak

You just have no idea how demoralizing it is to be yelled at by a two year old because you don't understand what her toddler-speak means :(

To me, most of my niece's words sound the same. But today, when I was reading a book to her, she was saying the words in the book, but in her own language. When I didn't repeat them the way she meant them, she yelled at me. There was a little girl in the book who looked like her friend from school. She yelled at me because I didn't know her name. She said it in Mera-speak and I just repeated her. Well obviously the way I said it wasn't right because she yelled at me and started to cry.

I felt just as sad... and little bit stupid at the same time. It was as if I was the one who didn't know how to read!

My Logo

So... what do I do when I'm bored?

Well tonight I decided to make a personal logo.


Don't be jealous!

Incomplete

Empty spaces fill me up with holes
Distant faces with no place left to go
Without you within me I can’t find no rest
Where I’m going is anybody’s guess

I’ve tried to go on like I never knew you
I’m awake but my world is half asleep
I pray for this heart to be unbroken
But without you all I’m going to be is incomplete

Voices tell me I should carry on
But I am swimming in an ocean all alone
Baby, my baby
It’s written on your face
You still wonder if we made a big mistake

I’ve tried to go on like I never knew you
I’m awake but my world is half asleep
I pray for this heart to be unbroken
But without you all I’m going to be is incomplete

I don’t mean to drag it on, but I can’t seem to let you go
I don’t wanna make you face this world alone
I wanna let you go (alone)

I’ve tried to go on like I never knew you
I’m awake but my world is half asleep
I pray for this heart to be unbroken
But without you all I’m going to be is incomplete


-Incomplete
The Backstreet Boys
from the CD Never Gone

I've been busy today

I guess you could say I've been busy today posting photos and such to my blog. I decided to do this after looking at other people's blogs for about two hours last night. Plus, I really didn't have anything deep and meaningful to talk about today.

But you know what? I can't be eloquent everyday! So, read on about my friends.

The Westhavers

So I have these friends, the Westhavers, Keighley, Marie, and Wes. I've hidden their identity so that the feds can't find them. (Just kidding! :)) They're a cool family! Keighley, the daughter, is a little bit Gothy and a little bit rock-n-roll. Ma and Pa Westhaver are techies. Ma's into Web Design, but her alter-ego loves to write. Pa's a programmer/inventer (at least in my mind) on the level of Dr. Emmett Brown from the Back to the Future Trilogy but with more neatly arranged hair.

He came home one day, when Ma had invited me over for dinner, and was talking about needing a part for something he and his dad were inventing. To me it sounded like this: Click the link to hear the actual sound bite from BTTF.

"Don't worry. As long as you hit that wire with the connecting hook at precisely 88 miles an hour, the instant the lightning strikes the tower, everything will be fine."

Anyway, the reference to BTTF brought on a slew of, "you know what my favorite part was?" lines. It's so cool when you can just randomly start quoting from a movie and everybody gets it!

Rick Pollard, Me and Shawn Bingham. Shawn's moving to Florida to be closer to his family. We'll miss you Shawn! 

VK...chillin' at commencement

Virginia Kirk (on the right)... She's pretty cool! I wish I knew the other lady's name.

Kate Podson, the invisible Leadership Club member who nobody knew for a whole year. I'm so proud of her success at HCC! 

Dave Greisman, man we've known each other for a long time. Hope you become the great journalist Dave!

Alex Nowodazkij, SGA President 

My little buddy

This is my niece Jamera. She's as cute as a button. Her teacher has a british accent and Jamera is learning her words in a british accent. It's really cute to hear.

Forgiveness

For some time now, I've been living with a dilemma. How do you stop hating a person you don't trust?

In order for me to have peace and to expect forgiveness from God, I must learn to forgive. Each of us is forgiven daily for the sins that we unknowingly commit. How then, can I, knowing that I have offended many in the past, continue to hold the sins of another in my heart? I can't.

So I am resolved not to hate anymore. I have to find a way to show love toward the one who has offended me. In my heart, I choose to believe that she didn't mean to hurt me and I am resolved to restore peace in our relationship.

The Watchtower of July 1, 1970 had this to say about forgiveness:

*** w70 7/1 p. 388 Why You Ought to Be Forgiving ***

Jesus underscored the discrepancy between our indebtedness to God and another person’s indebtedness to us in an illustration. This he gave right after he told the apostle Peter that he must forgive, not only up to seven times, but, “Up to seventy-seven times.”—Matt. 18:21, 22.

In this parable or illustration he told of a king who forgave or canceled the $10 million debt of one of his slaves. But that slave was unwilling even to grant time for a fellow slave who owed him only $17 to make repayment! In fact, he had him thrown into jail! Upon hearing of this, the king canceled the mercy extended to the unforgiving slave and ordered him to be thrown into prison until he had paid all that he owed. Pointing out the moral, Jesus then said: “In like manner my heavenly Father will also deal with you if you do not forgive each one his brother from your hearts.”—Matt. 18:23-35.

Thus Jesus in his parable underscored not only the need of our forgiving others but also the great difference between what others owe us and what we owe God. Yes, what others may be said to owe us by reason of their trespassing against us, compared with what we owe God by reason of trespassing against his laws, might be likened to the difference between $17 and $10 million. If God can be that forgiving, should this, then, not prompt us to be even more forgiving than we have been?

So that's it. I'm letting go of the anger...letting go of the pain.

In a fog

I don't know what to say tonight. I try to write something meaningful in my blog everyday. But today, I feel devoid of intelligible thought. I think I may be getting the flu. The medicine I took has left me feeling yucky.

So if you're looking for some sage wisdom, don't look here... I'm all out.

Fun day

Today I spent the day out in the ministry. I stayed out longer than I intended to stay out. When the time came to either go home or continue on, I surprised myself and stayed out. I learned a lot about the sisters that I worked with this afternoon. They told me stories about married life. It was a good time.

I received a text message today:
"do something fun today - doesn't matter what :-)"

Good advice and I took it.

I went to the movies tonight and saw Monster-in-Law. What a hilarious movie. Jane Fonda and Jennifer Lopez were soooo funny. I hope that I never have to face a situation like that.

Setting Goals

So here's my plan to balance my spiritual education and my secular education:

(Matthew 6:25-34) 25 “On this account I say to YOU: Stop being anxious about YOUR souls as to what YOU will eat or what YOU will drink, or about YOUR bodies as to what YOU will wear. Does not the soul mean more than food and the body than clothing? 26 Observe intently the birds of heaven, because they do not sow seed or reap or gather into storehouses; still YOUR heavenly Father feeds them. Are YOU not worth more than they are? 27 Who of YOU by being anxious can add one cubit to his life span? 28 Also, on the matter of clothing, why are YOU anxious? Take a lesson from the lilies of the field, how they are growing; they do not toil, nor do they spin; 29 but I say to YOU that not even Sol´o·mon in all his glory was arrayed as one of these. 30 If, now, God thus clothes the vegetation of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the oven, will he not much rather clothe YOU, YOU with little faith? 31 So never be anxious and say, ‘What are we to eat?’ or, ‘What are we to drink?’ or, ‘What are we to put on?’ 32 For all these are the things the nations are eagerly pursuing. For YOUR heavenly Father knows YOU need all these things. 33 “Keep on, then, seeking first the
kingdom and his righteousness, and all these [other] things will be added to
YOU. 34 So, never be anxious about the next day, for the next day will have
its own anxieties. Sufficient for each day is its own badness.

One thing that I have seen over my years of serving God is that whenever his servants put his will, his service, first in their lives, everything else falls into place. This doesn't mean that they don't have problems. But they are better equipped to handle their problems if they always put spiritual things first.

So that's my goal for my secular education. I'm putting it in its proper place in my life. My primary goal in life is to pursue and expand a fuller share in the ministry. The way to do this and maintain my secular education is to set up a schedule and stick to it. Up until now, my life has been hit or miss, in most areas. But I need clear directions, I crave it. I know it's the only way to achieve my goals.

Good Day

I had a good day today. I went out in the house to house ministry. The group I went out with didn't find too many people at home, but we still had a good time. It was encouraging to be with people with similar goals as myself.

I'm really trying to improve in my skills in the field ministry. One of my goals is to get to the point where I go out on a weekly basis and get at least 10 hours a month. I also want to get better about my personal study schedule. I finally made my schedule and put it on the refridgerator. I've been meaning to write out my study schedule for a few weeks. I think that by making a schedule, I can get myself on track.

This schedule is going to come in handy this fall when I start taking classes at UMUC. I really don't want school to get in the way of my spiritual studies. One reason why I have waited to go to school was that I wanted to get my spiritual studies on a regular pattern. I think that by getting started on my pattern now and working about it throughout the summer, I can get myself prepared for the fall.

For a Friend

Had a friend once upon a time who had a hunger to learn
Good and bad was all she had and all she was concerned
She found out they were one and the same
The truth dont need to have a name
She loved to share with the moon soon she shared with me
The adventure this life could be
If we just let ourselves be free
She gave me peace of mind
Like a butterfly song to a rainbow shrine
And today feels good
Soul Sister

-Cree Summer
"Soul Sister"
From Revelation Sunshine

A Revolution

I take a water aerobics class on Monday and Wednesdays. When I first started taking the class, I thought that I was getting a good workout. I thought that since I enjoyed the class, everything was going well. I wondered why I wasn't losing any weight because I had heard that 30 minutes in the water was equivalent to 2 hours on land. So for sure, I should've seen some results.

One day, we had a substitute teacher; pyscho-sub, I called her. She worked us hard, so hard we couldn't talk during the exercises. I didn't really like her but it was a good thing to have this change of pace. She kicked it up a notch.

This past semester, I started taking Aquafit, which is basically Water aerobics. Our instructor Nancy worked us hard, but it was fun at the same time. She worked us so that everyone could work at their own level yet still get a great work out.

After some weeks of her class, I began to see the difference between what I had been doing and what I should've been doing. I had started working out because my doctor wanted me to lose weight and she suggested that I work out five days a week. In the past four months I've seen a huge improvement in my physical body as well as my emotional health. Having this time to workout helps me to release any stresses that come up during the day. I also see that my body shape is improving. I haven't gotten on a scale, so I don't know if I've lost a pound, but I certainly feel better.

So I titled this blog A Revolution...why? Well, one day our Water aerobics instructor was late to class and being the type of person now who doesn't want to miss too much time from my exercise routine, I started to lead the class in some exercises. I showed them some moves that I was learning in Aquafit and they really liked them. They saw that we could do more strenuous exercises and instantly craved more. When our instructor arrived, we told her that we wanted to do harder exercises, but she really hasn't kicked it up a notch at all. This happened about three weeks ago and since then I've watched our class plan a mini coup.

By the end of yesterday's class, our last class, one person said to me, "I'm not signing up for this class again unless we get a new instructor". I got this person and all the other people in my Water aerobics class to sign up for Aquafit. Today was our first class and they loved it. This is the level of work out they wanted.

So we got together in the locker room and talked about going to the Human Resource department and telling the Wellness Coordinator about our concerns. We want to continue the class, but not with same instructor. And since Tuesday and Thursday are not ideal for most of us, the Aquafit class may not be something they can continue in the fall.

I don't know how things are going to turn out. But I hope things work out so that we can have a good workout in the fall.

First day home

Today, I slept in. I had good dreams, so it was easy to do. I woke up feeling like I had plenty to do, lots to accomplish. But it was my own list of to-dos, not anyone else's.

I had some running around to do and my plan was to head out early and come back and rest before my water aerobix class. I was out for a good long time today and did a lot more than I planned to do. But it was ok, because I didn't feel stressed at all.

I've been feeling overwhelmed for about a month now. Work seems to offer very little challenge as of late. Especially with the threat of complete and total change looming on the horizon. Right now, we're sitting in the calm before the storm with everyone watching and waiting to see how things unfold.

But for this week, I'm not going to worry about it.

Peace at last

It's been said that when you living space is ordered and clean, your mind will follow suit.

My bedroom has been a mess for the past week. Clothes piling up on the end of the bed...papers on the floor, next to the boxes in which they had been stored.

Yesterday, I bought a new loveseat. It is the finishing touch in my apt. I feel like my home is complete. With a new loveseat with matching decorative pillows and tables, I had this need to clean my apt. So I cleaned my living room kitchen and dining room. Then I moved on to my bedroom. I put away all the clothes, clean and dirty. put away the excess stuff on my dresser. Put away all the magazines and paperwork that lay next to my bed.

As I cleaned my room, the anxiety that I had been feeling slowly melted away. The stress that was causing my disturbed sleep seems to go away. Later that evening as I lay in bed, hoping and praying for restful sleep, I felt a feeling that had eluded me for a week; peace.

I woke up this morning feeling refreshed, having no memories of any disturbing images. My dreams were good and pleasant. I felt thankful to Jehovah for giving me a restful night's sleep. It was the best way to start off my vacation.

No shoes, no shirt, no problems

I'm so ready for my vacation. Visions of sandy beaches, warm breezes and a life moving slower than normal fill my imagination. I need a break from everyday life. I want to stay up late and be care free.



I want this!
10 days off.
Anyone seen my Kenny Chesney CD?

Disturbed Slumber

Betrayal
Adultery
Lies
Anger
Mistrust
Injury
Death
Lost Love
Van Halen
Darth Vader
Dinosaurs
No Escape

My dreams haunt me each night, robbing my mind of the peace it craves. My unsettling thoughts hold calm captive in the deep recesses of my mind never to escape and free me of the worries that plague my spirit.

I need a good night's sleep.

Dude, guess who's going to college?

From : UMUC Undergraduate Enrollment Team

Sent : Wednesday, May 18, 2005 9:15 AM

To : Julie M. Jones

Subject : Welcome, Newly Admitted Undergraduate Student

Congratulations! You have been admitted to University of Maryland University College. You will be receiving an acceptance letter shortly explaining your admissions and residency status.

**stuff in between that I can't share. Personal codes and such.**

We wish you much success in achieving your academic goals at University of
Maryland University College.

Click here to visit my new school

Ever feel this way?

I feel awful for saying this, but I'm burned out. I need a break. I don't feel productive anymore and worse yet, I'm frustrated with my lack of productiveness.

Today I made this very passionate speech to someone about how (in my mind) my coworkers and I are being persecuted for delivering a message about some changes that have to be made. The nature of our work puts us in the position of having to tell people that they have to change the websites that they've worked long and hard on, in order to conform to the college's web standard.

What amazes me, still after five years, is that within our organization, people feel very free and open about harshly criticizing our department or IT in general. So many times you'll hear people say, "I would've done so-and-so, if IT had come and fixed my computer." Or "if IT hadn't done that, we'd be able to do so-and-so". And people feel more than comfortable in pointing these things out during meetings in front of other people and from the standpoint of an IT person, it's like, "maybe if we insult or embarrass them, they'll get the job done." How rude is that?

As customer service people, we can't do that. If any of us dared called out the short comings, or should I say, perceived shortcomings of anyone in the college, we would be called "smug IT people". Yet and still, we can be insulted all day long and are expected to take it with a smile.

For me, it's a horrible feeling to be directly or indirectly called out in a meeting, especially when the situation could be handle in a private setting before or after the meeting. I find it insulting and blatantly disrespectful.

So, with the changes that are going to take place with the web, the rumors are already flying. And with each rumor, there are people who have an opinion as to what we could do better. I'm all for suggestions, but at a certain point, someone has to say, "listen, this is the way it's going to be and that's all there is to it. Deal with it or leave."

I know I sound very militant and frustrated and in a way I really am. But I'm also very tired and burned out. I just need some cooperation and agreement.

As I typed those words, I heard Cagney saying, "Hey, what world are you living in? People are going to complain. Get used to it." And she's probably right. I can't control the world, nor can I control the people at work. But for once I would love to hear someone say, "I have to convert my site to the new standard? Great, it's about time!"

I'm going to bed...
Only 3 more days...

I say, put up a sandwich board that says, "come see us...we'll tell you what you need to know".

I'm becoming intimately familiar with the Howard Community College website this week. I'm going through all the web folders looking ways to improve marketing opportunities for various areas within the college. There are sites that I've never seen before and honestly, I don't think anyone else has seen before either.

We really let too many people have access to create websites. This is part of the reason why we have so many problems convincing people that they should conform to a set of web standards. We let people do things willy-nilly for years and now we're paying for it. We have site with over 100,000 webpages; 85% of which are virtually useless. Everyone thinks that their info is important and in any other setting, they probably would be. But we have a huge mess on our hands. The thought alone of having to clean it up makes me tired...

The web nazi in me says, wipe out the whole server and start from scratch.

Alas, I can't wipe out the website, at least not without getting into trouble. So instead, I think I'll go to bed.

From a recent email...

How much do we actually know about our friends and relatives?
This is a questionnaire to get to know them better.
Read through the comments below, about me.


1. What time is it: 9:24 pm

2. Name: Julie

3. Nicknames: Jul, Jules, Jules Vern

4. Piercing: two, one in each ear

5. What is the most recent movie you've seen in the theater: Hitch

6. Eye color: Brown

7. Place of birth: In Sinai Hospital

8. Favorite foods: Crab cakes

9. Ever been to Africa? No.

10. Ever been toilet papering: Nope.

11. Love someone so much it made you cry: haven't we all?

12. Been in a car accident: No

13. Croutons or bacon bits: eww!

14. Favorite day of the week: Friday

15. Favorite restaurants: PF Changs

17. Favorite sport to watch: Oh do I have to ? Isn't there a good movie on Lifetime instead?

18. Favorite ice cream: Ben & Jerry's New York Super Fudge Chunk (even it makes me sick - lactose intolerant)

19. Disney or Warner Brothers: Disney

20. Favorite fast food restaurant: Subway

21. What color is your bedroom carpet: brown/tan

22. How many times did you fail your driver's test: Failure was not an option

23. Before this one, from whom did you get your last e-mail: with 7 email accounts, who even knows?

24. Which store would you choose to max out your credit card: Sam Goody or Ikea depending on my mood.

25. What do you do most often when you are bored? Talk to people on IM and read other people's blogs

26. Bedtime: My goal is 11:00 - 11:30 or earlier depending on the night.

27. Who will respond to this e-mail the quickest? Carrie

28. Who is the person you sent this to that is least likely to respond? Jeanette, I don't think she even checks her email.

29. Who are you most curious about their responses to this questionnaire? Probably Carol because I know her the least.

30. Favorite TV shows: Gilmore Girls, Reba, and Hope and Faith

31. Last person you went to dinner with: Marie

32. Ford or Chevy? I don't know the difference...

33. What are you listening to right now: because of question #11, Brandy's song Have you Ever? is stuck in my head.

34. What is your favorite color: sage green

35. Lake, Ocean or River: I'm not big on water, but if I have to choose, I guess ocean.

36. How many tattoos do you have: What, are you trying to get me in trouble?

37. How many people are you sending this e-mail to? 7

Time you finished this e-mail: 9:33

End of the week

Today was a long day... filled with meetings. I wish I had something witty to say. But I don't.

I hope that things get better for everyone soon. We all need some happy times in our lives.

Have a good weekend!

Making some head way

I felt really productive today. I've finally figured out how to approach the project that I've been avoiding for 5 months. I think I know how I'm going to do it. Now I just have to get it done within the next two and half weeks. I should be able to do it provided no one asks me to part the Red Sea for them between now and then.

Monster in my room

The rental office finally came and put a screen in my bedroom window. I never noticed that there wasn't a screen until about two weeks ago. So I opened my window today and within 10 minutes look what was in my bedroom.



Killer Bee that tried to eat me today 


Now keep in mind, I did not enlarge this picture. This thing is really that big. My mother said that it was probably a queen bee. I was paralyzed with fear, but I managed to get it into a tuperware bowl and get it outside. Now, that I can open the window, I'm afraid to.

Some days...

There are days when I feel super productive and very capable of handling my job. On those days, I actually get through projects and actually have a sense of pride about my work. There are days when helping people is effortless and is even a joy.

There are days, though, where I feel like I'm spinning my wheels. People call and I have no clear cut or easy answer to their questions. Or worse yet, I don't know the answer to their question. Sometimes people don't see the big picture and ask for things that just are impossible or irrelevant.

Today was neither of those days. It was a day in between. I got work done, but became frustrated with the prospect of all that is still left to do. A few calls came in that were relatively easy. But the ones that have been with me for a while puzzle me because I can't seem to make any headway with them.

I have two reports to write by the end of the month. First of all writing professional reports is not my strong suit. One report will ultimately go to the Foundation board - the money people. How scary is that? So I really want to do a good job on it. Although I have no idea how I'm going to do it.

The other is a recommendation report. I really need some alone time on this one because I don't even know what to recommend. Worse still, I don't know if my recommendations will even matter in a year with all the changes that will be made.

Right now would be a good time to have a clone to help me do these reports.

My alter ego

I've been giving this superhero thing some thought lately. I've been a Wonder Twin for two and half years and I think it's time to graduate to the next level.

Of course, most superheroes are more effective with a sidekick. Well, Obi Wan, you can turn in your light saber...we have new alter egos... and we're on equal ground now.

Cagney & Lacey




Oh by the way, I get to be Lacey :)

E True Hollywood Story

So apparently, the break up of Lucille Ball and Desi Arnez was received about as well as the break up of Brad and Jen.

It must be hard to be famous.

When I get married, I'm going to do everything I can to keep my marriage out of the tabloids.

;)

What do I say?

As I sit and comtemplate what sage piece of wisdom I can pass on to you, my faithful reader, the only words that come to mind are:

Be honest in all things. The benefits are eternal.

Need sleep

This has been a busy week and I think my body is feeling the effects. I felt completely drained of all my energy. I really need to put in for a vacation, that is once I figure out when I want to take one.

I'm going to bed now.

An aha moment

It all makes sense to me now. Things seem so much clearer.

A Sunday matinee

I went to see A Street Car Named Desire today at the Theatre Outback. I'd never seen an HCC production and was extremely impressed with the talent that we have at our school. The girl who played Blanche Dubois played crazy really well... A little too well. I've only seen crazy played that well once before - Diana Ross in Lady Sings the Blues.

I also got to meet Marie's mom. What a great old gal. She and I got to talk for a few minutes while we were waiting for Marie to bring the car around. She told me about the place where she lives. She realize seems to like it there and "90% of the people are really nice". I just love how she broke it down mathematically. She said that there are people who do nothing but complain all the time. I told her about having to deal with some unfriendliness in my life as well and she said that there will always be people who try to bring me down no matter where I go. I've heard that a million times, but there was something terribly wise about that statement coming from her.

Before leaving her, I gave her a hug and told her that we have to hang out some time w/o Marie. I have to admit, I do have a soft spot in my heart for old people. They may fart and fuss and get on your nerves sometimes asking you to repeat what you said 17 times, but they can be so cute that you forget all the annoying stuff.

Should I stay or should I go?

I have a question. If my pilot light keeps going out and the rental office isn't going to look at it for two days, should I stay in my apt and take the chance that I might be gassed to death?

I am confused and unsure...

and a little sleepy...

A better day

Today was a better day at work. I actually feel like accomplished something I've been working on. I hate feeling unproductive. I want to be able to have things under control and be able to handle my help desk calls in a timely fashion. Dealing with files that work here, but not there was probably the most frustrating thing I've dealt with in a long time. I do not want to relive that again.

I did have something neat happen today, though. I put on a pair of pants that I couldn't fix six months ago. It was a great feeling and it made me feel encouraged that I'm making progress with my exercise schedule. I'm still not going to get on a scale for a while because if I don't see a number that I like, I'll be disappointed. I mean, I know I making progress, but numbers can be so discouraging.

I have also found that exercising gives me the time I need to unwind. It clears my mind and helps me forget my problems, even if it's only for one hour a day. I really enjoy this time. For sure, I know that I'll have classes on Tues/Thurs/Fri during the summer. I need to figure out what I'm going to do on Mondays and Wednesdays.

I'll figure something out.

So much to do

There are days when I have so much to do, that my head just swirls. Of course, it could be swirling because I have tremendous pain in my jaw.

Today I sat in a meeting with my jaw flaming, my face burning red. I imagined that my face was swelling and turning red and that everyone could see it. Thankfully, the meeting wasn't an hour wasted out of my life. It was informative and despite the information given to us, I still feel hopeful about the future.

I don't want to talk about it...my face hurts.

Small Victories

Even though I didn't need it per se, I got validation today and it was wonderful!

As I walked to work today (yes dears, I walked) I got the happiest feeling inside. I was listening to a song on my DJ called "My Honey's Lovin' Arms" and I just felt so great inside. It was like one of those great old MGM musicals where the lead character walks down the street and there is perfectly choreographed dancing going on behind her as she walks and sings. I was on cloud nine. I wanted to be in a musical so badly at that moment.

I don't want this feeling to go away.

Random Thoughts

Thought for Today: "Friends may come and go, but enemies accumulate."
— Dr. Thomas F. Jones Jr., American college official (1916-1981).

don't try to fix me i'm not broken
hello i'm the lie living for you so you can hide
- Amy Lee from Evanescence (Hello)

Nobody can make you feel inferior without your consent.
-Eleanor Roosevelt

Don't let the tiny whisper of doubt drown out the choir that is your internal cheering squad.
-Me.

The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen, nor touched...but are felt in the heart.
-Helen Keller (1880-1968)

All animals are equal, but some animals are more equal than others.
- Snowball (Animal Farm - George Orwell)

Now all I have to teach you is one word - everything.
-Annie Sullivan to Helen Keller from the Miracle Worker

So, never be anxious about the next day, for the next day will have its own anxieties. Sufficient for each day is its own badness.
-Matthew 6:34

I need a couch

If I had a couch, I think I would've laid on it all day today. I wasn't in the mood for anything at all today.

I need sleep...


Exhausted

Myers-Briggs

I went to a leadership conference today and took a personality assessment. It was based on the Myers-Briggs assessment which is based on the theories of Carl Jung. Jung said that we are all born with certain personality preferences that influence the way we deal with people and situations.

There are:

extroverts/introverts
Sensors/Intuitors
Feelers/Thinkers
Judgers/Perceivers

So, each one of us identifies with one of each preference. There are 16 combinations. This how I scored:

Introvert, Intuitor, Feeler, Judger

Here is the summary of my personality preference:
Succeed by perseverance, originality, and desire to do whatever is needed or wanted. Put their best efforts into their work. Quietly forceful, conscientious, concerned for others. Respected for their firm principles. Likely to be honored and followed for their clear convictions as to how best to serve the common good.

So what do you think? Does that describe me? Were you surprised or did it confirm your impression of me?

The New Howard Community College Motto

No more of this "You Can Get There From Here" business.


The new motto is:



"You Gotta Go To Class..How else are you gonna learn?"

I may be crazy for taking this challenge

So I was challenged to read Don Quixote...all 1050 pages... in the original spanish no less. No, my friend doesn't hate me. She really thinks that reading it in the original spanish will be a cool thing. And she's probably right.

However...

There is no way I can read a book that long in spanish. There isn't enough room in the margins for all the notes I'd have to take. By the time I translate, all the subtle nuances would be gone. So why not read someone else's translation?

So I'm going to get started on the book.

And you thought you had problems

from: http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/7545053/?GT1=6428

Seattle man caught fire during surgery
Police launch investigation into 2003 incident
Updated: 1:44 p.m. ET April 18, 2005
SEATTLE - Seattle police have launched an investigation to determine how a patient undergoing emergency heart surgery caught on fire at a local hospital in 2003.

The male patient, who was not identified, went up in flames after alcohol poured on his skin was ignited by a surgical instrument.

The patient died after the surgery but that was due to heart failure and not the fire, said Dr. Robert Caplan, medical quality director of Virginia Mason.

Caplan said fires are known to occur in operating rooms although they were extremely rare.

The two-year-old incident became publicly known after an anonymous letter sent to the media mentioned it as a sign of unsafe health care at the hospital, and said the patient burned to death.

Caplan strongly disputed its contents. "That letter is factually incorrect," he said.

*Copied without permission from :(-

Sunny Days, sweeping the clouds away

It was 80 degrees today, 85 inside my apt. I stayed home because I felt nauseated. I should've gotten some much needed sleep, but I insisted on working.

Tomorrow I will go to work, ready and focused on getting these last projects finished. I have so much to do before June 30th. The pressure is like an anvil on my chest. It's weight is so heavy that I can't move it. Part of me wants to get it all over with, but part of me doesn't even care anymore. Work has become a day-in day-out mindless drone; answering the same questions over and over again.

"How do you log into this? How do you update that?"

I know that I'm just in a rut right now. Something new and more exciting is bound to come soon.

I know it...
I believe it...
I have to believe it...

Proceed with Caution

Words can cut deep into a person's soul, piercing the down to the kidneys.

I was careless with my sword today and injured an innocent person.

Take a chance

This song always gets me inspired.

The River
Written by: Garth Brooks, Victoria Shaw

You know a dream is like a river
Ever changin' as it flows
And a dreamer's just a vessel
That must follow where it goes
Trying to learn from what's behind you
And never knowing what's in store
Makes each day a constant battle
Just to stay between the shores.. and

I will sail my vessel
'Til the river runs dry
Like a bird upon the wind
These waters are my sky
I'll never reach my destination
If I never try
So I will sail my vessel
'Til the river runs dry

Too many times we stand aside
And let the waters slip away
'Til what we put off 'til tomorrow
Has now become today
So don't you sit upon the shoreline
And say you're satisfied
Choose to chance the rapids
And dare to dance the tide.. yes

I will sail my vessel
'Til the river runs dry
Like a bird upon the wind
These waters are my sky
I'll never reach my destination
If I never try
So I will sail my vessel
'Til the river runs dry

And there's bound to be rough waters
And I know I'll take some falls
But with the good Lord as my captain
I can make it through them all.. yes

I will sail my vessel
'Til the river runs dry
Like a bird upon the wind
These waters are my sky
I'll never reach my destination
If I never try
So I will sail my vessel
'Til the river runs dry

Yes, I will sail my vessel
'Til the river runs dry
'Til the river runs dry

Everything's blooming

So everything is blooming and brand new. The trees are bursting with color and the smells are so vivid it makes you want to... want to...

Hey choo!!!!!!

Oh, excuse me. It must be my allergies ;)

It's only a number

Besides the fact that it's late at night, I have lots to be tired about. I just finished writing my self-evaluation. It can be such a degrading or uplifting experience, depending on how your year went. I accomplished a lot, more than I have in any other year here at HCC. But the way things work around here, you can kill yourself and you'll get the same score as someone who just comes in to collect their paycheck every 15th and 30th of the month.

I used to get frustrated with people who didn't work as hard as I did. After all, why should they rate the same as I do? I think that they figured out a long time ago, what I just figured out today. Kill yourself doing your job or don't kill yourself... you're still going to get a 3.

A 3 (on a scale of 4) can feel like a slap in the face because most dedicated people strive for a 4 every year, as futile as it may seem. It's like the borg collective, you can't escape it, you will be assimilated. Once transformed, you'll see that a 3 is not so bad... a 3 means you get a raise.

We are the borg... persistance and over-dedication is futile...

So why bother going that extra mile? If all you're going to get is a 3, then why even have a 4 as a goal? I guess in all of our hearts, we shoot for the 4 because we feel like we deserve a 4. If for once just to hear our supervisor say, "you did such a good job this year that you're going to get a 4".

For me, year end evaluations have always been tied to my self-esteem. It's like, I've waited with intense anticipation to hear someone else tell me how valuable I am. How sad is that? I know that I do a good job and whether or not I get a 4, really doesn't validate or invalidate who I am.
So I guess it's time to stop worrying and finish writing my self-eval. As far as I'm concerned, I've already given myself a 4 as a person and that's all that really matters.

I don't envy Martha

After talking to a friend today about a situation she's facing, these words rang in my head. I don't envy her position... having to deal with someone like the one in this song. She's in a no win situation.


everybody's fool
- by Evanescence

perfect by nature
icons of self indulgence
just what we all need
more lies about a world that


never was and never will be
have you no shame don't you see me
you know you've got everybody fooled


look here she comes now
bow down and stare in wonder
oh how we love you
no flaws when you're pretending
but now i know she


never was and never will be
you don't know how you've betrayed me
and somehow you've got everybody fooled


without the mask where will you hide
can't find yourself lost in your lie

i know the truth now
i know who you are
and i don't love you anymore

it never was and never will be
you're not real and you can't save me
somehow now you're everybody's fool

© 2003 Wind-Up Records

I'm here if you need a hug.
J.

Question

What are "living daylights" and how can they be beaten out of you?

Listening to:

-The Miseducation of Lauryn Hill

One Day Left

Ok, there's only one day left of freedom. On Monday we have to go back to work and start up on the daily grid. I really don't want to go because decorating my apt is so much more fun.

I've been working on a project for the past week and I finally feel like it's finally coming together. I hope that it will help me in the long run...I think it will.

It's important to have a portfolio of your work. It shows people what kind of work you do. I've done a lot this year and I'm pretty proud of my work. My goal is to do web projects as a side business. I've already been asked to submit resumes and portfolios to a couple of different people.

In the past, I doubted my abilities as a web designer. But recently, I've taken real pride in my work. Not the kind of pride where you get a swelled head. But the kind of pride where you won't settle for less than the best for your client. This year, I think I produced work that was very good. I hope I can continue that pattern.